Episode 6 – Loose Ends Recap

BIG FUCKING NEWS!!!!!!!

Showtime announced that they are going to do a SECOND SEASON OF GENERATION Q. 

Truly, we have been blessed by the lesbian gods. I’ve been feeling so down about the prospect of this show ending, again, 10 years later, still with no satisfactory lesbian TV shows to replace it. 

I just want to take a moment to congratulate all the lesbians. WE MADE THIS HAPPEN. According to this Deadline.com article, “Showtime Networks President of Entertainment Jana Winograde revealed that the launch of The L Word: Generation Q drove the network’s biggest weekend of subscribers sign ups in 2019.”

In other words, more people signed up for Showtime to watch Gen Q last year than for ANY. OTHER. SHOW. 

And yeah, I definitely subscribed to Showtime just to watch Gen Q. I’m such a passive TV-watcher, except for when it comes to TV shows that provide any modicum of lesbian representation, and then I am ALL. IN. It makes sense that Showtime has been successful with Gen Q because
A) It’s been a really fucking good show. Truly, they’ve outdone themselves, and
B) Showtime, bizarrely, still has the market monopoly on lesbian TV shows.
You can’t guarantee that a show like The L Word is going to appeal to the masses, but you can guarantee that pretty much every fucking lesbian in the world is going to tune in. And clearly, that counts for something. 

What a time to be alive! I love 2020!
Ready for the recap? Here we go…

Shit is hitting the fan ever since Bette pushed a man down a flight of stairs, after he dared to lay his hands on Angie. Alice, Bette, and Shane are all at Bette’s house. Shane is wearing a flannel, which is groundbreaking. Has Shane ever worn plaid before? I don’t think Shane has ever worn plaid before.  Alice is PISSED that she didn’t know Bette and Felicity were still boning…especially when she finds out that Shane knew. Bette remembers that she was supposed to take Angie to the DMV, but she can’t because the press is on her hot and heavy, so Shane volunteers.
YES!!! More Angie-and-Uncle-Shane moments? I can’t wait. 
Bette starts freaking out, like, I’m going to drop out! Noooo, Bette! The people need you! She storms toward the door, opens it, and BOOM!

TINA. 

TINA?!?!?! Oh my God, Tina is here??? Tina?!?!?!?!?!

Tess and Finley wake up topless in what appears to be a very uncomfortable sleeping position. Finley is wearing those TomboyX boxers that I want to buy but haven’t, because they’re so expensive. I want to support all those queer/lesbian/womxn-owned gay underwear companies, but also, men’s boxers are cheap and I am poor. Also, what’s the difference? Am I missing something? Let me know…

Shane walks in and Finley makes NO MOVES to button up her pants or shirt, which mystifies me. Does she not feel weird about being caught smashing Tess on Shane’s bar couch? Guess not. 

Tina and Bette are sitting at the table, having a little chit-chat. Bette reveals that Jordi makes her nervous. Why? Because Jordi smokes drugs? At least she’s not a BOY. 

God, I hope my kids aren’t straight. Is that bad to say? I’ve researched it and the odds are apparently slim, which is a relief. 

Bette wonders aloud if Jordi and Angie have already had sex. Tina says they haven’t even kissed yet, which is a big reveal, because that means Angie dishes about GIRLS to Mama T, but not Mama B. 

We have yet to hear Angie use either of these terms. She called Bette, “Mom”, earlier, but Mama T wasn’t around, so I guess confusion was not an issue. 

I hope we find out why Angie chose to live with Bette instead of Tina. I like that we get to see two lesbian moms taking equal share of raising their daughter, since I think a lot of times hetero culture assumes that the biological mother plays the larger role in raising the kid in lesbian relationships. 

Sophie’s making sandos in the kitchen, and she’s really slapping on that ham. She’s mad about Dani leaving early in the morning without talking to her. Finley says Dani reminds her of her mom. Then she says her mom is hot. Whoa, what? Then she says her mom is a STUD. 
A stud?!
Who describes their mom as a stud?! Is she using this word in the lesbian way, or as a cheeky synonym for “attractive”? I’m going to need to see pics of Finley’s mom, STAT. Does she wear vans and snapbacks, or…?!?!

Finley declines to tell Sophie about her sexy night and compares herself to poet Emily Dickerstein upon exiting. Sophie calls Finley stupid for the THIRD time in this show and it makes me MAD because I LOVE Finley and you CAN’T just call your friends stupid and Finley ISN’T stupid she’s just MISUNDERSTOOD and DITZY and ADORABLE okay I’m done. 

Bette’s assistant finds out that Dani already knew that Bette and Felicity were still sleeping together. Everyone is upset about not knowing that Bette and Felicity were still sleeping together! Even though nobody was supposed to know Bette and Felicity were still sleeping together! And of course Bette and Felicity sleeping together jeopardized the campaign, so why would Bette tell anybody about Bette and Felicity still sleeping together! Omg.

Bette’s assistant is very upset by this news and it changes how he feels about Bette. Omg!!! Why!!! It’s just sex!!! Gah. Bette’s assistant reveals that he is a trans man. Whoa!!! Props to Dani, she does not react to this news at all. Dani attempts to rally up Pierce’s spirits and reminds him that Bette is “special” and “inspiring”– she is! Does Pierce see the light? Nope! He basically accuses Dani of being affected by Bette’s voodoo lesbian magic. 

Is Dani affected by Bette’s lesbian voodoo magic?

Okay…on the one hand…no, but also yes. Maybe? CAN YOU BLAME HER?! I don’t know if Pierce is exactly hinting at the fact that Dani might have a crush on Bette (who wouldn’t?!) but he definitely thinks that Dani has gone overboard in her unrelenting loyalty to Bette. This is a complicated situation. I can say, personally, that powerful lesbian women have more pull on me. The fact that Bette is a successful, strong, lesbian women has got to play a role in her connection with Dani. Doesn’t it? That would explain why Dani was SO upset when Bette betrayed her trust by hiding information about her personal life. Dani could be so loyal to Bette, in part, because her lesbian identity makes it easier for her to identify with her. And can you really blame her?

Auntie Quiara and Uncle Shane take Angie to her driving test. Awww!!! I live for these unconventional family dynamics. 

Someone outside the DMV recognizes Quiara, who we know is FAMOUS, but we still don’t know why! We get a hint: Quiara had a “set” at “Glastonbury” last year. Upon googling Glastonbury (I live under a rock) I discovered that it is a five-day contemporary music festival which additionally hosts “dance, comedy, theatre, circus, cabaret, and other arts.” Great. So, we still don’t know what Quiara is. She could be a pop star! But she could also be a circus clown.

Angie passes her driver’s test, because of course she does. Our little button!

Uncle Shane hands Angie the car keys and tells her she can drive wherever she wants to go. Shane drives a 2018 black Jeep Wrangler, because she is the stud lesbian we all one day aspire to be. If Shane were to hire me as her personal assets manager, this is one of the season’s MANY reckless actions that I would advise her against. You can’t just let a freshly-licensed 16-year-old take a spin in your $40,000 car!!!! You just can’t!!!!

Alice, Gigi, and Nat are out around town on a throuple lunch date. In the last episode, Alice revealed that she hates the word throuple, but I disagree. I find it so functional and cute.

THROUPLE! 

Upon witnessing the throuple embrace, the waitress is all, you guys are such good friends. Ooh. Awkward. What do you say to that? The three haven’t decided that their relationship is going to be public, but they haven’t decided that their relationship is NOT going to be public, either. 

Gigi is on it. She says, we’re not friends. 

Damn, Gigi! Jumping right in!

Then the waitress reveals that she loves Alice’s show, and both Alice and Nat stare at Gigi spitefully.

Gigi: What did I do?
WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!

Bette and Tina sit around, sipping tea, and I’m ready for some Bette and Tina tea. I have questions. Where the fuck has Tina been?! Who did Tina leave Bette for?? Was it a man or a woman? I bet it was a man. Ugh. Remember when Tina said she still considered herself a lesbian WHILE SHE WAS DATING A MAN because she considered lesbianism “a political movement”? That was wack. 

Tina compliments Bette on her new artwork, which is a good reminder that Bette and Tina are Art Lesbians. Bette is the fictional lesbian that inspired me to one day become an Art Lesbian. But I’m still poor, so we’re working on that. We find out that Tina helped teach Angie to drive, so I guess she can’t have been entirely absent. Does she still live in LA though?! It seems like she doesn’t. Where has she been??? Tina and Bette both compliment each other on their parenting- aw!! But then Tina makes a face and I know she’s going to make A Comment. 

Tina says, I’m just glad you were able to make so much space for her. Then she brings up the fact that she felt like Bette always took up more space in their relationship. Bette’s career came first. Bette’s feelings came first. 

Bah, bah. Is this true? Did Bette really ask too much of Tina, or did Tina simply give up too much for Bette? Debatable. 

Then Tina gets on Bette’s ass about her relationship with Felicity. Bette has a good retaliation though: she tells Tina that Felicity was there for her when Kit died, whereas Tina didn’t even come to the funeral. DAMN. Tina didn’t go to Kit’s funeral?! That’s messed up. That’s messed up, right?

Bette has the last word in this conversation. She says, You should have been there. I thought you were my family. Damnnnnnnn. See? That’s why you don’t ever pick a fight with the Bettes of this world. The Bettes will always win.

Sophie and Finley are chilling at the pool, because they’re bros for life. Bro goals. Finley is topless, which reminds me of all the topless swimming Shane scenes in the original series, which brings me back to my episode 1 thought: Finley is Shane 2.0! Except, not really. Still, the thought is nice. Finley feels like a broken hot mess who can’t get a girlfriend. Same. Sophie tries to think of a solution, then she’s like, I know!
BRO NIGHT!!!

Because, you know. Bro night is always the answer. It doesn’t matter what the question is. 

Angie, upon being granted the privilege to drive anywhere she wants in Shane’s cool-ass car, decides to drive to Jordi’s house. She’s going to tell Jordi that she loves her. Aww!!! Angie asks Shane for love advice and Shane defers this task to Quiara, so we get to learn how Shane and Quiara met. Aw!!

I had a hard time following this story, but basically, La Putain means bitch in French and Quiara was the one to ask Shane out after she fell in love at first sight. 

Has Shane ever actually asked a woman out?!?! I’m sticking to my earlier point that as much as we worship Shane’s fuckboy persona, Shane secretly HAS NO GAME. She usually just stands around looking sexy and women fall in love with her. She’s wonderful, but she’s so fucking fictional. I’ve never met a woman like Shane. Have you ever met a woman like Shane?

Angie tells Jordi that she loves her, which is ADORABLE, since the two haven’t even kissed yet. Then they KISS and Angie gets a raucous ovation from her lesbian aunt and uncle in their cool car.
So. Fucking. Cute.
And then Shane decides she’s fine with raising Quiara’s kid. Wha?! That was fast. 

Alice, Nat, and Gigi continue to argue about their relationship publicity and arrive at zero conclusions. Can’t blame ‘em. 

At bro night, Sophie is mad that Dani didn’t notice her new fade and that Dani’s boss is hot. Fair. 

Finley gets super awkward talking to Tess and Tess tells her, stop being weird and also I’m not going to sleep with you again. Poor Finley. I wouldn’t know how to act either!

Shane finds Finley at the bar to let her know that Quiara is moving in and Finley is kicked out. Sad face. Nooooo, I was excited for Finley and Shane’s bromance. I was more excited about Finley and Shane’s bromance than I was about Shane’s matrimony. Finley better hurry up and become the fuckboy she was destined to be, or what will we do??? We need to have at least ONE, because, y’know…sex-positive lesbian representation matters. 

Tegan and Sara comes on, which means Finley and Sophie are ready to PARTAYYYYY!!! Gayyyy. I love it. Also, this scene is ME any time Tegan & Sara come on at a club…or, more recently, any time Young MA comes on at a club. I get so fucking hyped for lesbian musicians, period.

Sophie tries to teach Finley how to not dance like a frat boy rolling at a rave. Then, if I am not mistaken, Sophie and Finley have A Moment. !!!

Sophie and Finley?!?! Mayyyyybe…

I could see it. One day it’s all, I love you, bro! Then the next day, it’s like…I love you, bro. 

I don’t know if I necessarily dig Finley and Sophie or if I just dig this dynamic. I automatically feel like challenging any butch lesbian who calls me bro. Do you think that since I’m butch, we could never be in love bro? Don’t try me, bro. Cuz I could make you fall in love, bro.

Angie opens up to Mama T about her first GAY-ASS kiss, and we learn a lot from this scene. Namely that Angie does use the terms “Mama T” and “Mama B”, and she also refers to “Mama B” as “B” when talking to “T”, which totally makes sense. 

Sophie and Finley bike home together, and they’re all, I love you, bro. 

Nat, Alice, and Gigi are still fighting and Nat asks Gigi to leave when they get home. Gigi kisses Alice goodbye. Damn. Imagine trying to keep the peace with two girlfriends. 

Alice and Nat find handmade cards in the room for all three of them and we learn a lot from this scene. Namely, that the kids call Gigi “Mom”, Nat “Mama”, and Alice “M. Alice”– Mom Alice?? Is Alice a mom already? How long do lesbians wait before allowing their children to consider new girlfriends as “mom”?

Alice and Nat talk about how the kids are fine and decide to invite Gigi back. The throuple lives!

Dani tells Bette that crazy man’s lawyer decided not to sue her. Woohoo! But he wants her to make a public apology. 

For, like…what?

I feel like Dani gives Bette good advice here. She tells Bette to pivot the speech and “give the speech that only she can give”. Yesssss!!! Another Bette speech!!

Bette gives the speech. It’s amazing, of course. She finally gives the Kit story. As many have surmised, Bette was motivated to run in honor of Kit, who died from a heroin overdose. We also learn that Kit’s relapse was spurred by a doctor’s erroneous decision to prescribe Kit an opiate painkillers after she was injured in a car accident. When Bette’s speech ends, the reporters barrage her with questions, but she walks back inside and closes the door, because Bette is a badass. 

Bette for mayor!

Dani gets home to Sophie, who is still drunk from bro night. Sophie wants Dani to talk to her. That doesn’t go well. I think it’s safe to say that at this point, Dani and Sophie have spent more time on screen fighting than they have being happy. Sophie wants to talk about everything, Dani doesn’t. Do you think they’ll work things out?

Incoming: Dramatic finale scene!!!

Dramatic finale scene is Bette and Tina hugging goodbye. Tina compliments Bette on her sexy-ass speech and assures Bette that she loves her and she’s still her family. Hugging your ex is always a tricky affair. Do you do the side-hug? Full frontal? Polite 3 seconds or a lingering 5? 10 is obviously inappropriate. Tina tries to pull away after the standard 3, BUT THEN…

Bette: Please don’t go.
Tina: :O

Oh. My. God. 

Worldwide, TiBette fans are shrieking. 

Are Bette and Tina going to get back together?!?!?!

Prediction: I don’t know if Bette and Tina are going to get back together, but if they do, it will be around the same time Dani and Sophie breakup. It wouldn’t be a realistic lesbian show if we didn’t have at least one couple fight in every scene, right?

So, what do you think? Are you rooting for TiBette? What are your throuple predictions?