Episode 3 – Luck be a Lady Recap

Here we are, episode 3! And let me say, I am finally taking advantage of my Showtime membership. Yes, I am one of those lesbians who only subscribed to Showtime to watch The L Word but you know what? There are a lot of good shows on there. And some good movies too. This weekend I watched Pixie, which, like all good movies, centered on a female villain/criminal mastermind. Unlike many good movies, it actually had a killer ending. You’ve gotta watch it.

I also binge-watched On Becoming a God in Central Florida, which starred Kirsten Dunst and was pretty weird. But pretty good.

Fair warning, I had a minor surgery this week so I may or may not have been a little loopy on painkillers when I wrote this recap. It turned out okay though? I hope? Here we go…

The episode starts with Angie opening her geneology results and discovering that she has a relative! Nearby! Drama.

Then we have Finley opening up about all the times she shat her pants while Sophie sweeps the floor and loses it. Look at that natural chemistry. And then Finley’s talking about how her family pranked her grandpa by swapping out his shower soap with a bar of mozzarella cheese. Sounds very…italian?

Finley asks Sophie if she wants To Talk. About what? Sophie says no. Fair enough.

We see Alice in rare form…doing dishes! And not wearing a pantsuit! She seems to be locked in a dissociative state, which is probably a normal reaction to your long-term girlfriend who recently vowed to be your one and only announcing that she must sleep with other people! And then Nat busts in and starts talking about how she is sleeping with other people! Specifically, how she was sleeping with another person last night! And it’s weird! And she missed Alice!

Okay, ew. How is Nat going to tell Alice she missed her while she was sleeping with someone else?

Bette and Gigi breeze into a fancy building with Bette chatting on the phone and Gigi grabbing Bette’s ass. Eep! They meet up with Dani and Dani’s father, and Bette introduces Gigi as an amazing realtor who is also her GIRLFRIEND. That happened fast!

I guess Dani is buying a house or something? She can’t exactly keep living with her ex because her other ex and the chick her other ex cheated on her with are living there. Sigh. I still don’t understand that whole situation, but whatever.

Micah is on his way to his first day of work, apparently his first therapist job because apparently he’s been studying to become a therapist. He invited Maribel to his new office’s coffee shop to tell him that his shirt looks okay because he’s really nervous! And apparently his new job is with Nat? I’m hoping that means Nat’s role on this show is transitioning from Alice’s girlfriend to Micah’s coworker/boss because let’s be honest, their relationship sucks.

Finley wants to know what to do with some promo bottles that appeared at the bar. Shane doesn’t know, because of course she doesn’t. Why would she know what’s happening at her own bar? Tess busts in to yell at Shane for giving her too much money on her last paycheck!

And then Shane says, that money wasn’t for you, it was for your mom! Tess says she wanted to earn that money! Shane says, you are going to earn that money! Tess is confused! I’m confused! Tess is mad that she drank all those espressos just to yell at Shane and now she can’t yell at Shane! She wants to yell at Finley for accepting those no-good promo bottles! What’s going on?

Angie runs up to Jordi to break the news that she found a relative! And it’s not just a relative, it’s a half sister! And she lives in LA! And she hasn’t told her moms yet! Jordi is supportive and sweet and offers to accompany Angie to meet her half-sister so she doesn’t end up kidnapped and stuffed in the back of a van 🙂

Gigi is showing Dani and her dad a condo at a building that has a rooftop pool, a hot tub, and a 3,000 square foot fitness center, plus an amazing view.

Dani: I don’t know…this is all very nice but do you have any 3 bedroom houses I could share with 5 roommates? :/

Dani’s dad says it’s perfect! Dani’s not so sure. because isn’t it a little big for one person? And does she even want to buy something right now?

Which means, as I suspected, Dani had enough money to buy a mega-fancy bazillion dollar LA apartment and she was renting a bedroom in a house for her and her fiance instead. Or…was she even paying the rent? Cuz Sophie is still living there. Maybe Sophie was paying rent.

Gigi says, my parents are the same way. As in…mega rich? Dani’s dad discovers Gigi’s family is Iranian and starts speaking to her in Farsi. And then, surprise, Dani starts speaking Farsi! There are no subtitles, so I don’t know what they’re saying, but it sounds like Dani is saying that her mom spoke Farsi? She’s part Chilean and part…something? And it sounds like Dani’s dad is saying, would you like to marry my daughter?

Dani’s dad says she’ll take the condo! Dani hasn’t said anything to indicate that she wants the condo. Gigi tells Dani she’ll do whatever Dani wants. At this, Dani looks confused. “You can start the paperwork,” she says.

Alice and Sophie talk at work, but Alice is a little distracted by her homelife. She tells Sophie about her girlfriend’s first sleepover with Marissa. Marissa! As in, the swinger wife from Dani and Sophie’s wedding. Of course. Alice gets a text from Nat asking if she can see Marissa again tomorrow night. Again?! Already? Damn, Nat.

Micah is at his first day of work with Nat, and he explains to her that he mostly taught family systems theory, with a focus on how grief affects the family. Nat says that’s great, I’m so glad you’re here as our TRANSGENDER therapist to treat our TRANSGENDER patients! And then promptly escorts him into a closet.

Also, they buy cakes for employees on their birthdays! Groundbreaking.

Dani is in her Dad’s fancy office signing paperwork for the new apartment, and Dani lets out a melancholy sigh as she signs and remembers her old life…and her old zip code…ha ha, Dani, that’s enough now.

Dani’s dad is Mr. Subtle with the “That real estate agent? I liked her! WHY CAN’T YOU DATE SOMEONE LIKE THAT?!”  He finds Gigi adventurous…gutsy… and Dani thinks he only likes her because she’s Persian. And like her mom? Ew. And then Dani’s dad tries to casually slide his will into the paperwork stack. Um…wtf?

Bette and Gigi saunter into an art gallery in slightly-matching oversize blazers. Sigh. I love them. How long til Bette fucks this up?

Gigi asks Bette, how do you know if the art is any good? Bette starts a passionate art rant, which Gigi pivots into flirting and then asks if Bette doesn’t want any wine. Gigi walks off and then Bette stares into the existential distance, wherein I can only imagine Bette is adding to her Ideal Partner checklist. Passionate about work…has kids…likes modern art?

Bette is pulled out of her existential deliberation by a sexy purple light that beckons to her from behind a nearby wall. She follows the light to an exhibit that causes her to stop and stare. And…cry? Or…laugh? I’m not gonna lie, she looks a little maniacal. I can’t help but think of that scene in Season 1 episode 4 where Bette cries in front of a photograph Mrs. Peabody shows her.

And Mrs. Peabody is just looking at her like dis.

Back at Casa de Micah, Micah tries to open up to Maribel about how his first day at work sucked, and she says, wah wah, Micah! My oppression is worse than yours!

Wait, really?

Yes, really. That is what happened.

Finley apologizes to Micah and Maribel on behalf of white women.

Bette is so excited about seeing an exhibit at the art gallery from a famous black female artist that went AWOL for 20 years that she is giggling and spinning around and…skipping?

Tom and Alice are discussing Alice’s sordid love life for literary purposes. Tom keeps saying, “I couldn’t do that.” Polyamory? Throuple?

Alice taps out of the conversation after multiple inept comments from Tom putting her into her feelings when she’s CLEARLY still upset over the fresh wounds ripped open by her lover Nat. Tom suggests that they get some more work done over dinner. Bleh.

Bette gets home to Angie to find out that her rebellious teenage daughter went on the DNA website and found out about her ancestry after Bette told her not to.

Angie: I have a sister!
Bette: You don’t have a sister!
Angie: [screams]

Gigi shows up, and Bette seems surprised to see her even though Gigi says, “I got you strawberry because they didn’t have raspberry,” so clearly this was planned. Bette is upset about the Angie thing and Gigi tries to have a rational conversation with her about it, but Bette isn’t in a rational mood. Then Angie calls down, who’s that! And Bette yells, NO ONE! instead of yelling, come meet my new girlfriend, which makes Gigi mad so she storms out.

Sigh. I had such hopes for GiBette.

Bette leaves a voicemail for who I can only assume is Mama T, then processes her feelings in 2.5 seconds and calls Angie downstairs to announce that she will be taking her to meet her half-sister.

At work Micah faces his supervisor, Nat, to tell her he doesn’t want to be pigeonholed into working with only trans clients. His heart-to-heart with Maribel didn’t seem particularly inspiring, but she did tell him to ask for what he wants, so I guess he’s following her advice.

Dani shows up at Gigi’s office to accept the keys to her new skyscraper apartment and make melancholy remarks like, this isn’t the life I was planning. Really, Dani? I can’t with her ass. Gigi drops her workday to take Dani out for a mandatory night about town.

Yes! Finally! Where the fuck are all Dani’s friends? Why isn’t anyone on her side? Why isn’t anyone there for her after the worst day of her life? She definitely needs a night out.

Sophie arrives home and announces in shock that Dani took everything. Even the red pepper.

Sophie says something assholeish to Finley and Finley finally sticks up for herself! Yay!

Finley says, I thought I was saving you. And Sophie says, you did. So Finley pauses at the door and makes Sophie finish the thought instead of storming out. And at first I thought that Sophie was going to admit that Finley’s actions were fueled by a belief that Sophie needed saving from her marriage to Dani, which is a belief that was 100% supported by Sophie’s actions. But no! Sophie actually admits that Finley did save her, which makes for Sophie’s first admission that she didn’t want her life with Dani, which means there’s a shot that Sophie will stop acting like an asshole and admit that she was the key decision-maker in her own supposed life-ruining.

Which means there’s hope that Sophie and FInley could actually be happy together. But not yet, because Sophie is still processing her post-relationship trauma.

Micah takes Maribel to a stable, where he has a pony waiting for her as a thank you for yelling at him and being rude. I can only interpret this as Micah being in loveeeee with Maribel! Yep, they’re in loveeeee! They’re going to make babies!!!

Angie plus Mama B plus Auntie Shane plus Alice show up at the cafe where Angie is supposed to meet her half sister. Aww!! After meeting her half sister, Angie motions to the trio outside and says, that’s my family. Aww!!

Bette expresses grief about the fact that Mama T is handling this whole situation with grace while she’s biting Gigi’s head off for offering reasonable advice. There’s some self awareness. Also, is Tina handling this with grace or is she just…not around?

PS. I really, really, really fucking love Bette and Shane’s friendship. Love it soooo much.

Alice brings up the fact that her wife is sleeping with Marissa. Bette tells her she can shut all of that down, but Alice says if it’s not Marissa, it’ll be someone else. Right, and that would bother her too. So…why are we doing this?

Kinda steamy?

It’s poker poker time at Dana’s.

And Gigi and Dani are eating Persian food and stealing bites off each other’s plates.

Peep the arm. THE ARM.

We get to learn more about Gigi– fucking finally! She’s probably one of the more interesting new characters, but she hasn’t had a lot of storyline until now. Her mom is a badass and her dad and her were close until she came out. She has seven brothers and she’s the only daughter, but she liked growing up in a big family.

Dani, on the other hand, was kind of a lonely only child. Her mom died when she was young-ish and she used to go to her friends’ houses and sleep over so that she could be around more people.

A man comes over and talks to Gigi in Farsi. He’s trying to hit on them. She tells him they’re lesbians and they’re on a date. I don’t know what he’s saying, probably some dumb bullshit like, “Can I watch?” she yells at him and he finally leaves. She apologizes to Dani for saying they were on a date, explaining that she just had to get rid of him.

We better act like we’re on a date so he believes us…;)

Dani and Gigi giggle about the encounter for a minute, and then Dani breaks the obvious SEXUAL TENSION by bringing up Bette.
Gigi stops smiling and says, actually, I’m not sure it’s going to work out with us.

And then Gigi says…No, forget it. I want to know more about you.

Ooh la la! I am loving the chemistry between Gigi and Dani. I’m really excited to see Dani with anyone who isn’t Sophie, since so much of last season was spent watching their relationship unravel. For whatever reason, they just didn’t bring out the best in each other, and Gigi and Dani are both smart, multilingual, and gorgeous. To make things even cuter, Dani’s dad actually likes Gigi.

If they do end up together, I guess the thing I’m most concerned about is Gigi’s wild side. Dani is one of those wifey types. She wants a long term relationship with someone stable. Not only did Gigi cheat on Nat when they were married and had kids, she also more or less cheated on Alice when they were in a throuple. I wouldn’t feel bad about Gigi cheating on Bette because Bette tends to get around herself and she’s cheated on partners so many times! But if Gigi cheated on Dani I would feel sooo bad…Dani can be emotionally neglectful and a bad communicator and she can be a little bit clueless, but I think she has a good heart. She has a strong moral compass and she tends to live life according to her own strict set of rules for right and wrong. Something like cheating is a deal breaker for someone like Dani. In her relationship with Sophie, she ignored a red flag: Sophie either cheated on her ex with Dani, or agreed to leave her ex pretty soon after meeting Dani. Dani was worried that this meant Sophie would eventually cheat on her…and she did! I wonder if Dani would even be willing to date Gigi if she found out that Gigi cheated on past girlfriends.

Back at the poker game, something shady is going on. Earlier, Tess advised Shane that she was taking something (poker chips? money?) into the back and a sketchy man disappeared after her. Now, Tess reappears at the bar and stares Shane down from across the room.

Alice is at dinner with her editor, Tom, at a restaurant that is conveniently the same restaurant that Nat is dining at with her new lover, Marissa.

Tom seems to only be interested in discussing Alice’s current relationship, which seems kind of odd, since this meeting was planned under the auspice of working on Alice’s book, so they really should be giving other crucial topics some talking time. Topics like…her bladder issues? Her cervix? Her cougar mom?

Alice nods stoically as Tom babbles incessantly about his heterosexuality and monogamy. She stuffs chips in her mouth and watches her girlfriend across the room sharing romantic moments with a woman she just met at a wedding. Then, boom! Full on panic attack! She races out of the restaurant and breaks the news to Tom in the alley: they came here to spy on Nat.

Then she tells Tom it’s over. It’s over! With her and Nat! It’s over.

Back at the poker game, Tess tells Shane that the guy who followed her back to the office tried to make moves on her. Shane offers to kill him, but Tess said she took care of it.

How, you may ask? By taking $4,000 from the winning pot.

She hopes Shane isn’t mad. Shane isn’t mad, she’s just glad Tess is okay.

Nat gets home from her date to find Alice waiting for her. Alice lets her know that the kids were asleep when she got home, and so was the babysitter. Also, the babysitter was wearing Nat’s sweater. Also, the babysitter was wearing Nat’s jeans. Um…what? Is Nat sleeping with the babysitter too? I am confused.

Then Alice breaks up with Nat. Nat says, we can figure this out but they can’t. That’s the thing. Nat already gave Alice an ultimatum. She said she couldn’t be happy in the relationship unless she could sleep with other people. And Alice can’t be happy in the relationship with Nat sleeping with other people. So obviously it’s not going to work out. I’m not bummed about this relationship not working out cuz honestly, Nat is pretty blehh. But I am annoyed that this is how the show chose to portray a polyamorous relationship. As taboo as queer relationships are, both in real life and on-screen, polyamorous relationships are even more taboo. And when we saw a flash of a polyamorous relationship (Nat+Alice+Gigi) that seemed to be relatively healthy, that was pretty revolutionary. But then it turned into Nat just acting like a cheater and forcing Alice into something she clearly wasn’t comfortable with.

Sophie and Finley are hugging, Shane and Tess are counting their cash stacks, and Bette is researching Pippa Pascal, the MIA black female artist that had her in tears at the art gallery. Bette zooms in on something about Pippa’s gallery in Topanga, and she gives Gigi a call. I’m assuming she wanted to say something like, do you want to drive to Topanga with me and stalk Pippa Pascal?

Too bad. Gigi is in the car with Dani giggling her ass off, and she doesn’t have time for Bette’s nonsense. She ignores the call and confides in Dani about her real name: Golnar. Turns out, Gigi is a nickname Golnar Ghorbani’s mom made up for stupid Americans when she was in grade school. Also, Golnar Ghorbani wasn’t rich and fitted in Prada like the three Golnar’s Dani went to high school with. She was poor!

Gigi pulls up to Dani’s dad’s place, where sirens are blaring. And the episode ends.

Looks like Dani’s dad is either in medical trouble or in legal trouble. Both seem equally plausible. I just hope he’s not dead 🙁 Dani needs a break.

What are your predictions for Alice and Nat? Gigi and Dani? Dani’s dad?

Until next time…