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:: S E A S O N  F I V E ::
Spoilers

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS ANYWHERE

Updated 29 December, 2007

Last weekend I saw Rachel Shelley shopping on Robson street in vancouver, she is drop dead gorgeous! I did talk to her! And I found out a spoiler for season 5 involving Helena. Okay the spoiler is that Rachel will not be coming back for another season after season 5. My source? Well not from her but from one of her NEW co workers, I of course told him that I really wasn't too thrilled about that seeing as tho Helena is my all time favorite character, he laughed and said he would tell her that, he also said that if the new show got picked up they wouldn't be filming here in vancouver! :( so Im glad I got the chance to see her when I did.

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Updated 24 September, 2007

A little Helena spoiler; a character named Jackie will be one of Helena's prison mates. She supposedly wants Helena to join her gang, which is followed by quite a hot sex scene. She will be in about 2 or 3 episodes.

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Updated 8 August, 2007

Here are the in depth spoilers for ep 501. I am going to write these in the order in which they appear in the shooting script.

* Helena is now in jail for stealing Catherine's money. She is being lead to her cell and the other inmates are shouting and calling out to her.

* Bette and Tina go see an Admissions Director to try and get Angelica into a decent pre-school. They tell the Director that they want Angelica to grow up surrounded by art. They even mention that her puzzles at home are hand made by particular artists. Angelica also signs to Bette in the interview and impresses the director. The director asking if anyone in their family is deaf. Bette stumbles a little on her words and says that they have a good friend who is deaf. Tina shoots Bette a discreet look.

* Helena is locked into her new cell with her new cellmate. Helena begs to be let out, she wants to know if her mother calls. The guard laughs at her and walks off, leaving her alone with her new cellmate, Dusty. Dusty is described as the biggest, baddest prison butch on steroids. Helena introduces herself to Dusty only to have Dusty crack her knuckles and stare blankly back at her. Helena begins to explain that she won't be in here for very long and that as soon as they can reach her mother, she'll be out of there. She goes to sit on the bottom bunk bed but as she does Dusty states "That's my bunk". Helena springs off the bed and scampers up to the top bunk, where she crawls into the corner, hugging her knees.

* Bette and Tina leave the interview. Seems Bette let slip that they were a lesbian family. But since Tina doesn't think its a good idea for them to know that they are a divorced lesbian family, they lead the director to believe they are still together. As they are walking to their car they spot another gay couple, Ed and Jamal with their little boy, Lucas. Seems they are all travelling the same pre-school circuit and this is not the first time they've bumped into each other. Jamal tells Bette and Tina that they think Lucas has a great chance at getting into this school because he's a Muslim, Ed is Christian, Lucas is adopted and he's half Jewish, a quarter Latino and a quarter Chinese. Bette counters with the fact they have a bi-racial daughter with lesbian moms. They go back and forth a bit until it clear that Lucas has a way better chance of getting in than Angelica does. Bette and Tina get into their car deflated.

* Max sets up 2 cameras and lights as Alice has taken over a corner of the Planet for her new podcast. Shane is there touching up Alice's hair. Seems Alice will be conducting an interview with Phyllis. Alice tells the gang that she's tried reaching Mrs Peabody but could only reach a social secretary who told her that she was abroad and wishes only to be disturbed in the case of an emergency. Shane asks Alice if she told her her daughter's in jail? Alice jokes that she said she knows Mrs Peabody is a broad...but not a very classy one. Phyllis asks how her makeup looks, that she doesn't want to come off looking like a lipstick lesbian. Alice remarks that no she's a total stone butch. Phyllis takes out her notebook and writes that down, stating that she's never heard of that before and that she's studying the "lingo".

* Alice is interviewing Phyllis about her new love, Joyce. Apparently Joyce is going to be throwing Phyllis a coming out party. Phyllis talks about how she was afraid that after coming out her world would become small and that she would be cut off from the life she knew, but that now Joyce has shown her that a whole big beautiful lesbian world is out there waiting for her. Alice asks Phyllis is she has U-Hauled yet. Phyllis has no idea what that means. Alice explains what it is, as Phyllis jots it all down in her notebook.

* Cut to a U-Haul being unloaded. Shane and Paige are being lead to an apartment by Lexi, a very cute, very voluptuous real estate agent. Lexi walks in front of them with a "Feel free to check out my ass" walk. Shane does so. Paige seems to really like it and tells Lexi that they will get back to them by the end of the day, as to whether they will take it or not. Lexi tells Shane that Lisa Pantolini says hi. Shane tells her that she says hi back. Paige is all "Who's Lisa Pantolini?". Shane tells her its just a girl she once knew. Lexi then goes on to tell Shane that she knows Lacey, Brandi Delaney and Megan too. Shane is all "Oh yeah?" and slightly embarrassed. Paige remarks to Shane that she has a long history. Lexi tells them that she couldnt believe it when she heard from Lisa that Shane was moving in with someone. She also says that Lisa talks about Shane all
the time and that she never fully got over her. Shane's all "Oh Im sorry to hear that". Paige then leaves as she has to go get Jared. Shane looks back at Lexi to find she's staring at her. Shane meets her gaze and then looks away. Looks back again, this time with intent.

* Apparently Shane and Lexi get it on, just as Paige bring Jared back to show him their new home. Jared is in another room when Paige finds Shane and Lexi. Jared wants to see his new room but Paige shouts out that there's no point now as the place has been rented by someone else and leaves.

* Tina, running late for a meeting with her boss, enters the room to find not only her boss in the room but also hedge fund billionaire, Spiros Stassinopolous, and Jenny. Tina greets Jenny but Jenny ignores her. Tina's boss introduces Tina to Spiros. They all seem to be talking about scenes from Jenny's new film. Tina's boss is all "Oh I love the scene at the party when Jesse gets separated from her boyfriend and Nina comes over and totally hits on her. And Tina is all shocked like "Nina hits on Jesse?" At this point Jenny turns to Tina to greet her. Jenny tells her she re-wrote the script in Tulum, Mexico, which is where she ran into Spiros. Spiros tells everyone that Jenny was his guest at his villa. Everyone smiles except Tina, she cringe-smiles. Tina's boss tells Tina that he can't wait until she reads Jenny's new re-write. Spiros rambles on about how much vision Jenny has and how she can see the forest through the trees and that she's the only person who could possibly DIRECT this movie. Tina is flabbergasted. Tina is like "She's -- What?". Jenny smiles at Tina. There's a knock on the door and its Jenny's assistant, Monique, with her Pomeranian, Sounder. Jenny jumps up and grabs the dog without even acknowledging Monique. Jenny introduces Sounder to Spiros but then gasps and turns to Monique stating that the ribbon on Sounder is mauve and not the orange she had asked for. Monique tells Jenny that they ran out of orange ribbon and that she thought it was best if it was all one colour instead. Jenny tell Monique that she doesn't pay her to think and to go find her some orange ribbons. Monique leaves.

* Two new characters are introduced; Cindi and Dawn. They introduce themselves to Kit. Dawn tells Kit they are her new neighbours but Cindi just elbows Dawn to SHH. Cindi tells Kit they just moved up here from Miami. They go into the Planet taking note of the poster in the window that every Thursday night is Women's night.

* Back to the prison where Helena is locked up. Shane, Alice and Tina are being escorted to see Helena. Shane and Alice and working Tina over, telling her to stop saying that there's nobody out there for her. All three of them get catcalls all the way down the corridor from the other inmates. Shane's head whips around, she's just spotted a beautiful girl in one of the cells. The girl blows her a kiss and Shane returns the gesture. Shane and Alice continue to try and get Tina to go out. Shane tells her that she doesn't just have to go to bars and that she and Alice are going to help her find a girl. Alice says that they will be her "wingmen, with specially tuned gaydar". Tina laughs.

* Alice, Shane and Tina get taken into the visiting room. Helena enters and sits down. The others try and cheer her up. Alice comments that she's loving the jumpsuit and that orange is so her colour. Shane says she would totally wear that, while Tina tells her that she looks amazingly beautiful. Helena, not reacting to the cheering up, asks if they have heard from her mother. They all exchange looks.

* Shane and Alice have a talk but I only have the last part of it. Alice tells Shane that she is definately a lousy girlfriend (so maybe Shane was all depressed over what she had done to Paige and that's what they had been talking about previously?). They are both drinking and Alice tells Shane that they better drag themselves out to Phyllis' coming out party. Shane comments that while the party will probably be useless for them, they should at least go for Tina. Alice chimes in that yeah Tina needs her "wingmen".

* Back in prison. Two trays of food slide into the cell but once Helena sees what it is she audibly wretches. Dusty, who has already eaten all her food, looks at Helena's tray. Helena gives her the plate of soggy meat and tries to take a bite out of the hunk of bread but its as hard as a rock. Dusty finishes her food and growls at Helena, who then scurries back up to her top bunk, sucking on the crust of her bread.

* At the Planet Joyce's coming out party for Phyllis. Dinner chit chat about the university. Seems the people at this dinner party are all the lesbians from the universities various faculties. They all apparently knew Phyllis was gay well before she came out.

* Apparently there's now a Sushi Bar inside the Planet, as that's where Shane, Alice and Tina are sitting. They are checking out potentials for Tina. Alice points out Kara, one of the women at Phyllis's dinner party. Tina agrees that Kara is attractive but that she wouldn't know how to approach her. Alice and Shane look at each other. Sigh. Shane tells them both to "wait here" as she strolls up to Kara.

* Monique is madly taking notes for Jenny. Jenny is rambling off a list of things she wants Monique to come and do tomorrow morning. Monique tells her that she cant tomorrow morning as she has church. Jenny tells Monique to go to a later service that day but Monique tells her there aren't any other services that day. So she tells her to at least have the stuff done by 6pm. Shane is crossing by in front of them, so Jenny grabs her and tells her she misses her. Shane hugs Jenny and kisses her on the forehead. Shane tells Jenny she has to go, as she's doing something for Tina. Shane notices Monique and introduces herself to her. Jenny interrupts with a "Dont worry that's just my assistant". At this point Monique tells Jenny that she fucking quits and storms off. Jenny runs after her shouting "You'll be sorry".

* Meanwhile Shane walks up to Joyce and Phyllis and tells them both that its a nice party. They introduce the women at the table to Shane. Shane stops on Kara, who is more lovely up close. Shane tells Kara she has beautiful eyes. Kara is clearly charmed. Kara wants to know what Shane's story is but Shane tells her she has no story, that she is a blank page. Kara replies with "Waiting to be written on?". But before anything can happen Shane quickly points out Tina and tells Kara that she really wants to meet her. Alice, who is sitting next to Tina, points her out to Kara. Tina is embarrassed and half-heartedly waves back. Kara turns back to Shane and says "But Im meeting you right now". Kara smiles at Shane. Shane gets a grip and says "Come on. Let's go over".

* Bette enters the Planet and heads over to Kit. She asks her who those women are over there. Kit says she doesn't know but that they are all Joyce's guests. Bette says that she was referring to the two "tanorexics". Kit tells her that they are Cindi and Dawn, that they just moved here from Miami and that she invited them to come in to make some new friends. Bette asks Kit "So they could invite them all to their new hotter-than-hot lesbian club?" and hands Kit a post card which states "COMING SOON, HOT FROM MIAMI, SHEBAR: LA'S LOVELY LADIES HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE IT." Kit says "Well fuck me" to which Bette replies "I think they just did".

* Cut back to Kara and Shane sitting with Alice and Tina. Small talk. Alice starts nodding her head to Shane. Shane turns and looks to see Paige looming behind her. Paige asks Shane why she asked her and Jared to move in with her. Shane asks her if she wants to go somewhere to talk about this. Paige is all no just answer me. Meanwhile Bette comes and sits at the table next to Tina and introduces herself to Kara and then whispers into Tina's ear asking what's Paige doing here?. Tina just shrugs. Shane answers with, "Because I thought it would be good for us". Paige then asks Shane why she told Jared that Shay was coming back. Shane replies that she didn't exactly say that, just that she wished he would come back. At this point Im missing a chunk of dialogue but it ends with Shane going silent, everyone at the table looking away and then Paige turning and walking off.

* Shane has her head down on the table while Bette, Tina and Alice are all fawning over her. Bette tells Shane that its not her fault. Alice says that she totally asked for it. Tina says that Paige had no business coming in here like that. Tina tells Bette that Paige came in here totally looking for a fight and that she set herself up. She says "You should have heard the way she called Shane out". At this point Bette has stood up and is looking across the room to JODI, who is coming in through the front door with her suitcase, straight from the airport. Jodi puts down her bags and she and Bette fly into one another's arms, kissing long and deep.

* Not sure what location they are at now but I assume its at Bette's place. Jodi ties a blindfold over Bette's eyes, takes her wrists and pulls her to her feet. Bette stands up. Jodi comes around to the front of her, brushes up against her and breathes very close to her mouth. Bette is turned on. She moves to kiss Jodi but Jodi backs away. Jodi is all "Uh uh". Jodi starts to feel Bette up, slowly and excruciatingly. She unbuttons the top button of Bette's pants, teases, then moves around behind her and rubs against her, letting Bette feel her breasts against her back. Bette moans. Slowly, Jodi slips her arms around Bette, kisses the back of her neck, reaches her hands around and up under Bette's shirt. Makes Bette crazy. Jodi is all "Did you say something?". Jodi bites Bette's ear and slides her hands down her pants.

* Cuts to a fire hose dousing flames. WAX is ablaze. Shane arrives and jumps out of her JEEP. Pushes her way through the crowd to the front of the building, staring up at it. She asks what happened. The fire scene investigator asks Shane if this is her business. She nods yes. He asks her if she has any unhappy customers or maybe a disgruntled employee? Shane just stares at him and tells him not that she knows of. He tells her that its most likely arson. That a window is broken, shoe prints just inside and out and a trail of ignitable liquid. He asks is she has any idea who might have done this. Shane just says no. He asks if she wants to file a report and again Shane just answers no.

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Updated 12 July, 2007



Kate French has been cast as one of the owners (Dawn or Cindi?) of a rival club looking to steal business away from The Planet.

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Updated 27 June, 2007

This was sent in to us by Amanda;

I have a friend in Vancouver who just auditioned for the part of a woman named Jackie. She is in Prison, and Helena is there too. This is for episode 2 and 3..possibly more. She supposedly wants Helena to join her "gang" And, then I guess there is quite the HOT sex scene. Gotta love that!

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Updated 2 June, 2007

(Episode 501)

Seems there's to be 2 new characters who are set to stir things up with Shane & The Planet.
At this point we are not sure whether they are just guest characters or a permanent addition to the S5 cast.

They are 2 girls name Dawn and Cindi, who are partners not only in life but in business as they open a lesbian nightclub, SHEBAR,  in the neighbourhood (sounding very reminiscent of GIRLBAR owners Sandy Sachs & Robin Gans).

They tell Shane that they have managed to stay together for so long because they are honest with each other. If they want to have sex with someone else, they only do it together (with the third party).

The girls then show Shane the, as yet, unfinished VIP room upstairs. Dawn then kisses Shane. Shane hesitates a moment before Cindi also kisses her. Then Cindi kisses Dawn. Shane says "Fuck it" and all three start making out standing up.

At this point it is unclear whether this next part happens within the same episode or a few episodes later (it does say this is now ep 505).

Shane walks past the new nightclub which has now been transformed into a cafe (complete with drive through) with her cup of Planet take-away coffee.

Cindi intercepts Shane and they chat about coffee and breakfast with sex metaphors thrown in. Cindi invites Shane to come over to their place that afternoon so they can cook her up something special.

Shane turns up later at Cindi & Dawns place but she only finds a buck naked Cindi. Shane asks her where Dawn is. Cindi tells her that she wanted Shane all to herself. Shane asks if Dawn will care. Cindi tells her no. Shane doesn't argue and they fuck on the white leather couch.

Later that night at The Planet, while Shane is making out with some girl at the bar, Dawn confronts her. She tells Shane that she's gone and messed with the wrong bitch. An argument ensues about Shane cheating with Cindi. Kit has to step in and tells her to get her ass out of her bar. Dawn calls them all a bunch of losers and tells them that she is going to put them out of business, then she's going to buy The Planet, so that she can have the pleasure of kicking Shane out of HER bar!

After Dawn storms out dragging Cindi with her, Kit stands there glaring at Shane.

 

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