So here are the character Esplanations, Ricky. I hope this helps out. I'm keeping the nicknames, because I can. OK, moving on. Last week, you read the recap, if you need to know more e-mail me or Sci-Fi.

People
Bette Porter- Flashdance, B
Tina Kennard- Gaymo(m), T
Kit Porter- Foxy Brown
Carmen de la Pica Morales- Eva Longoria 2.0
Dana Fairbanks- 40 Love
Alice Pieszecki- Geek chic, Bookworm
Jenny Schecter- Flower
Shane McCutcheon- Yoda, Shaney
Bette and Tina's Baby- Portard
Mark- Marky Mark
Helena- Count, Hellena
Melvin- Mel

Places
Casa De Despair- Bette's
Sugar Shack- Alice's
(FKA) Starship Voyeur- Shane & Jenny's
Circus Tent- Shane and Jenny's
Evil Lair- Hellena's
SoulPlanet- The planet
CAC of Wickedness- Bette's work
General Hospital- Hospital Melvin is at

L.A. Dungeon Present Day
This episode, we voyage into the fetish world of Bondage. Like I've said before, Ilene has several more fetishes to cover, this being the first of many. The Punish-Her has a willing volunteer, for some good ole fashioned beating. Slave is being whipped and liking it. Chains, whips and leather, oh my! Slave wants Punish-Her to fuck her now, please. Only Slave has to think about what she wants, before any of that "fucking" occurs. We see a shot of Slave on an X shaped post, which really compliments her figure. Punish-Her exits the dungeon and we focus on a canned idea for a hallmark poster, that reads, ‘Pride 2005- Celebrate your diversity'. Somehow I don't think that made it into production. Not for Hallmark anyways.

Credits of Mass destruction.
Please George, help stop the evil doers. For their music truly spells the end of civilization as we know it.

General Hospital
Bette is trying to reason with the doctors. Mel is adamant about not being treated. Tina has came baring flowers, to see how Mel is doing, and to support Bette. Flashdance tells her that he is refusing treatment for his illness. Prostate Cancer. You know cancer. The C Word. Tina is visually sympathetic and gives Bette a heartfelt hugaroo, and tells her everything's gonna be ok. Tina asks, where's Foxy Brown? Bette says "in the room." Oh yeah, Kit thinks its ok that Mel is giving up, cuzz you know old people. Bette doesn't think he can think for himself, he's so sick. Tina offers the flowers to Mel but he says "put them on his grave." He says "hello Miss Kennard." Bette's pissed. She asks him if he'd like to feel the baby. He thinks that would be "highly inappropriate."

Starship Voyeur No More
Shane is watching tapes of herself, made by Marky Mark. Depressing herself to the core. Jenny is making a creepy pop up book of her family in her room, speaking Hebrew, crying, and rocking like a crazy girl. Shane comes in to apologize about what she saw on the tape. She tells her this is her home. It's the first time she's had a room of her own. Yoda likes/loves living with her. She doesn't want things to get messed up over this debacle. She asks Shane what she's going to do about Carmen. She says nothing. Flower thinks that her and Carmen would be good together. Yes, but what about you Jenny? She is chalking it all up to a lesson learned, and is moving on. Shane and Jenny are watching the tape together now. It's the interview about what Shane wants in a relationship. Jenny tells Shaney she's not scary. They marinate on that, huddled together.

Sugar Shack
Alice and Dana are role playing ... again. Al is dressed as a French maid. Dana looks like Ward Cleaver. They are having sex on that chair again. What is it about that chair? Al tells Dane she loves her. Just then, Dana's brother, Howie rings the doorbell. They invite him in. Dana appears surprised to see him there. Dana wants to know how he found her. He says "mom and dad love to talk about how you gave up a bright future with Tonya, for a dead end relationship with her." Rude dude, rude. They look at him like wha? Then Dana has to say sorry to Alice, for his bitchy comment.

Random Restaurant??
Tina and Hellena are eating dinner together and Tina seems/is distant. She is thinking of Melvin and, how worried she is for Bette. Hellena thinks that's none of her concern anymore. Right??? Tina says Bette is still her "family, and she wants to see other people." Meaning Bette. Hellena says "I'm sorry did you think we were exclusive?" Um... no. Was it not Tina who said way back in episode 20- something or other, that she wanted exclusiveness? Am I wrong?

Sugar Shack
Dana wants to know how long he will stay, but he doesn't know. Dana and Alice concur that Howie is not gay so he may not go to pride. Because its for gay people. And he's not gay. Totally not gay, yeah right.

Circus Tent
Jenny and Shane are making dinner, chopping various vegetables, when Marky Mark comes by. He tells them that he is sorry and he probably wouldn't forgive himself either. He asks permission to stay one more night. He then explains that the incredibly wrong thing he did, turned out to be the most pure and honest thing he's ever done. To this, Jenny says WTF, but not out loud. It's just that her twisted face sort of gave it away. He says ok then I'll just get the rest of my boxes. Shane says wait, you can stay uno noche. Jenny's all, but this is my crib. Shane continues to cut vegetables. What a great metaphor.

General Hospital
Bette is reading to Mel. Tina has brought food and clothing for Bette. Tina says Bette looks beautiful in her three day old dress, from the award dinner. They speak of such dinner, saying how proud she is of Tina. She looked so confident and beautiful. Tina is leaving and Bette asks if she will see her tomorrow. Tina says she is going to pride with Hellena. Bette is like aight. Tina says she's not gonna stop seeing Hellena. "One step at a time." If you can't be with me on those terms, to bad, so sad. Bette smiles and says ok. They kiss goodbye. Melvin asked the nurse to close his curtain while she was there. So Bette confronts him and it goes a little something like dis:

Bette- She's gone now. You can stop hiding.
Mel- What have I done?
Bette- What are you talking about?
Mel- I loved you I've supported every endeavor you have ever undertaken. I gave you every opportunity to follow that dream. I do not understand why you have to punish me.
Bette- I'm not punishing you, daddy.
Mel- I don't understand, you're such a beautiful woman.
Bette- Daddy...
Mel- Don't you ever think about the day when you will stand in judgment before God. What are you gonna say when he speaks from the book of life and reads your sins.
Bette- I will tell him I am his creation, and I am proud.

Circus Tent
Shane is watching the love confession tape and crying some more. Its her fault that she didn't keep Eva Longoria 2.0 when they first met. What exactly is she crying about? There are to many reasons to count, obviously. Some Yoda, she is. Sad Shane, bummer she is. Oh how the mighty fall. Back she will be, vacation she is on.

Sugar Shack
Dana brings Howie some blankets. She's glad he's there. Alice says he's going to ruin Pride. Where is he gonna be during the parade, she says. Dana will be on the Gay and Lesbian Center float. Dana says hey Alice "the Chart" Pieszecki you can come on the float with me. But what about Howie, "he can come to." Alice says I love you Dana, again. Only instead of reciprocation she says, "I'm gonna set the alarm."

Circus Tent
Mark has brought scones and coffee for them. He asks Shaney if he can talk to Flower but Shane tells him "you need to ask her, yourself". So he does. He sits down, at the kitchen table. Blah, Blah. He says he wished he could do something to fix this. He tells her they have made him a better man. Uh oh. Oh no. Jenny has gone mad. She tells him its not her "job to make him a better man, now fuck off!!" She doesn't "give a shit", whether or not she helped him. "Give her one good reason why I should forgive you." He says he made a big mistake and she has taught him what it feels like to be a woman. Jenny walks off and Mark follows into the kitchen, where he proceeds to strip. He asks her if this is what she wants? For him to humiliate himself? Naked Mark, really naked, a whole lotta naked. She throws a marker at him and tells him to "write fuck me on yourself and go out into the street and let anyone who wants to, fuck him. Then when its over tell them thank you very, very much. Then you will know what it feels like to be a woman." And storms off. Shane comes in and sees Mark and he is embarrassed so he pulls up his pants. Jenny sure does have some really, really deep seeded problems.

PRIDE
Lots of stuff going on here. Dana is going on the float only, Al and How's names aren't on the list. So Dana goes without them even after Alice has made it clear she isn't ok with it. Shane asks Jenny and Alice to go to the Dykes on bikes with her. Jenny wants to be an observer. Alice tells Shane that she told Dana twice she loved her but she didn't tell her back. Shane spots Carmen. A preoccupied stare occurs. Alice doesn't know why she is asking Shane about this because she doesn't have feelings of love. Shane says, Hey I can see that she loves you, stop worrying. They proceed to the hogs. Al gets on with Large Marge. Shane gets on with a dykier woman then herself. It's the double dyke byke.
Hellena and Tina are watching the parade and talking. This is T's 7th pride, and Hellena's first. Blah... Blah... Blah.
Dana and Alice are looking for Howie. They find Jenny by the ring toss, and ask her where he is. They ponder whether he is in a sports bar. Heh.
The Punish-Her is handing out flyers for her Bondage Clinic (18+ Links within). She asks Flower if she will see her there. She likes to "punish and tease." Al and Dana mill over the idea of bondage class, sure why not, have fun. That certainly was the gayest parade ever.

General Hospital
Bette finds a picture of her mom and dad and her. She is sooo broken. She wishes her mom was there. Kit comes by to bring Bette something to eat, and see Melvin. Mel apologizes to her for all the years that he left them alone. He asks if his baby is there. Kit says yes. Bette comes over to the bed. He takes both their hands and says "I love you both." Bette and Kit are broken together.

Dungeon
Alice and Dana go over the list of Bondage classes. Seven points on the cross, all different. And there is free buffet till six. So they enter, five seconds later, they exit. They decide to go to the Planet. Hmpf, must not have been for them.

SoulPlanet
Dancing, and Drinking, Carmen is DJ-ing. An older Irish sounding woman spots Jenny through the glass door frame. Granny Les says this is more like gay shame, rather then gay pride because most have more shame then pride. She asks Jenny to dance and other stuff, and I was like you don't want to mess with Jenny, Grandma. Jenny shuts her down, but not before kissing her cheek and saying happy pride. Hellena and Tina, are there now. Hellena introduces Tina to her friend Lee. By the way Lee looks a lot like Hellena. She asks HP-clone to dance. So Tina just stands there, and acts to pregnant to dance. She passes Bookworm and 40 Love as they are coming in. She says she just needs some air, she'll be back. What she needs, is Bette. Duh. Dana and Alice spot Howie, drinking a cosmo with his shirt off dancing with a gay man. She yells at him but, he says he's known he was gay since he was four. Then he asks her to tell their parents. She says OK. I'm like why the hell would you tell your parents for him? You've been through that once, I think that is sufficient for one gay person. Make him tell them. Why have them blame you, for his being gay?

Circus Tent Center Ring
Mark drops off the keys and Jenny catches him. She goes into a spiel and it goes a little something like this:
Jenny- You've opened up this Pandora's box. And now you're just running away.

Mark- ...
Jenny- So I dare you to just stay here and deal with this.
Mark-...(picks up keys without hesitation)
Jenny- We're not friends. >:(

General Hospital
Foxy talks to Mel while he sleeps. About Sunday church, and his 3 piece suit and pointy shoes. She thought he was the handsomest man in the world. He was everything, she thought a man should be. She thought he was asleep. Mel wakes up and says "Is that right? I'm not dead yet. Where is TOES?" She says he is with his wife and kids. "You shouldn't have let him go. If he is the man you want to be with you should be with him whatever the cost." "Like you did with mom?" "I did what I had to do was right, sometimes it comes with a price." "Yeah it does."

SoulPlanet
Dane and Al dance, and giggle. They stop for a second so Dana can tell Alice she loves her. Aww that was sweet. Let me make it clear for you. I want them to stay together. But, just don't get your hopes up, it can't last.

Dungeon
Jenny comes by to check out the "treatment" and as she is being strapped to the table she has a flashback to her rape as a child. There are lots of little boys surrounding her. She must be 8 or so. It happened at the circus. You know this whole time I was thinking something awful must have happened to her at the circus, to make her that weird. She cries there on the table and says "fuck." Per her usual.

SoulPlanet
Shane confronts Carmen. " I never had a hamster. I did have a dog. I have a brother, I never met him because we didn't grow up together. My mom put me in foster care when I was nine but I still love her very much." I'm going to cry now. So is Carmen. She cups Shane's face for a bit, and then walks off, without saying a word. Shane is flabbergasted I think. What's her problem, now? What exactly did Shane do? Im confused. Is it too late??? DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

Next The L Word
Al gives Dana permission to go out with Lara, much to her dismay. Carmen and Shane are invited to Jenny's new "job". Bette moves Melvin into her home, and risks everything. Tina comforts Bette... one step at a time more. And Mark and Hellena and Kit, you are grounded no trailer time. Which means you're not an important enough story line. Sorry.

It's almost as if I saw it coming. Oh well. I got the short episode this week. Coming in at a mere 45 minutes. I'll see you on the saddest day of the year, May 15th for the finale. I have a few shitty pics of the Sarah McLachlan concert if anybody cares.

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