So here are the character Esplanations, Ricky. I hope this helps out. I'm
keeping the nicknames, because I can. OK, moving on. Last week, you read the
recap, if you need to know more e-mail me or Sci-Fi.
Bette Porter- Flashdance, B
Tina Kennard- Gaymo(m), T
Kit Porter- Foxy Brown
Carmen de la Pica Morales- Eva Longoria 2.0
Dana Fairbanks- 40 Love
Alice Pieszecki- Geek chic, Bookworm
Jenny Schecter- Flower
Shane McCutcheon- Yoda, Shaney
Bette and Tina's Baby- Portard
Mark- Marky Mark
Helena- Count, Hellena
Casa De Despair- Bette's
Sugar Shack- Alice's
(FKA) Starship Voyeur- Shane & Jenny's
Circus Tent- Shane and Jenny's
Evil Lair- Hellena's
SoulPlanet- The planet
CAC of Wickedness- Bette's work
General Hospital- Hospital Melvin is at
L.A. Dungeon Present Day
This episode, we voyage into the fetish world of Bondage. Like I've said
before, Ilene has several more fetishes to cover, this being the first of
many. The Punish-Her has a willing volunteer, for some good ole fashioned
beating. Slave is being whipped and liking it. Chains, whips and leather, oh
my! Slave wants Punish-Her to fuck her now, please. Only Slave has to think
about what she wants, before any of that "fucking" occurs. We see a shot of
Slave on an X shaped post, which really compliments her figure. Punish-Her
exits the dungeon and we focus on a canned idea for a hallmark poster, that
2005- Celebrate your diversity'. Somehow I don't think that made it into
production. Not for Hallmark anyways.
Credits of Mass destruction.
Please George, help stop the evil doers. For their music truly spells the
end of civilization as we know it.
Bette is trying to reason with the doctors. Mel is adamant about not being
treated. Tina has came baring flowers, to see how Mel is doing, and to
support Bette. Flashdance tells her that he is refusing treatment for his
illness. Prostate Cancer. You know cancer. The C Word. Tina is visually
sympathetic and gives Bette a heartfelt hugaroo, and tells her everything's
gonna be ok. Tina asks, where's Foxy Brown? Bette says "in the room." Oh
yeah, Kit thinks its ok that Mel is giving up, cuzz you know old people.
Bette doesn't think he can think for himself, he's so sick. Tina offers the
flowers to Mel but he says "put them on his grave." He says "hello Miss
Kennard." Bette's pissed. She asks him if he'd like to feel the baby. He
thinks that would be "highly inappropriate."
Starship Voyeur No More
Shane is watching tapes of herself, made by Marky Mark. Depressing herself
to the core. Jenny is making a creepy pop up book of her family in her room,
speaking Hebrew, crying, and rocking like a crazy girl. Shane comes in to
apologize about what she saw on the tape. She tells her this is her home.
It's the first time she's had a room of her own. Yoda likes/loves living
with her. She doesn't want things to get messed up over this debacle. She
asks Shane what she's going to do about Carmen. She says nothing. Flower
thinks that her and Carmen would be good together. Yes, but what about you
Jenny? She is chalking it all up to a lesson learned, and is moving on.
Shane and Jenny are watching the tape together now. It's the interview about
what Shane wants in a relationship. Jenny tells Shaney she's not scary. They
marinate on that, huddled together.
Alice and Dana are role playing ... again. Al is dressed as a French maid.
Dana looks like
They are having sex on that chair again. What is it about that chair? Al
tells Dane she loves her. Just then, Dana's brother, Howie rings the
doorbell. They invite him in. Dana appears surprised to see him there. Dana
wants to know how he found her. He says "mom and dad love to talk about how
you gave up a bright future with Tonya, for a dead end relationship with
her." Rude dude, rude. They look at him like wha? Then Dana has to say sorry
to Alice, for his bitchy comment.
Tina and Hellena are eating dinner together and Tina seems/is distant. She
is thinking of Melvin and, how worried she is for Bette. Hellena thinks
that's none of her concern anymore. Right??? Tina says Bette is still her
"family, and she wants to see other people." Meaning Bette. Hellena says
"I'm sorry did you think we were exclusive?" Um... no. Was it not Tina who
said way back in episode 20- something or other, that she wanted
exclusiveness? Am I wrong?
Dana wants to know how long he will stay, but he doesn't know. Dana and
Alice concur that Howie is not gay so he may not go to pride. Because its
for gay people. And he's not gay. Totally not gay, yeah right.
Jenny and Shane are making dinner, chopping various vegetables, when Marky
Mark comes by. He tells them that he is sorry and he probably wouldn't
forgive himself either. He asks permission to stay one more night. He then
explains that the incredibly wrong thing he did, turned out to be the most
pure and honest thing he's ever done. To this, Jenny says WTF, but not out
loud. It's just that her twisted face sort of gave it away. He says ok then
I'll just get the rest of my boxes. Shane says wait, you can stay uno noche.
Jenny's all, but this is my crib. Shane continues to cut vegetables. What a
Bette is reading to Mel. Tina has brought food and clothing for Bette. Tina
says Bette looks beautiful in her three day old dress, from the award
dinner. They speak of such dinner, saying how proud she is of Tina. She
looked so confident and beautiful. Tina is leaving and Bette asks if she
will see her tomorrow. Tina says she is going to pride with Hellena. Bette
is like aight. Tina says she's not gonna stop seeing Hellena. "One step at a
time." If you can't be with me on those terms, to bad, so sad. Bette smiles
and says ok. They kiss goodbye. Melvin asked the nurse to close his curtain
while she was there. So Bette confronts him and it goes a little something
Bette- She's gone now. You can stop hiding.
Mel- What have I done?
Bette- What are you talking about?
Mel- I loved you I've supported every endeavor you have ever undertaken. I
gave you every opportunity to follow that dream. I do not understand why you
have to punish me.
Bette- I'm not punishing you, daddy.
Mel- I don't understand, you're such a beautiful woman.
Mel- Don't you ever think about the day when you will stand in judgment
before God. What are you gonna say when he speaks from the
book of life and reads your sins.
Bette- I will tell him I am his creation, and I am proud.
Shane is watching the love confession tape and crying some more. Its her
fault that she didn't keep Eva Longoria 2.0 when they first met. What
exactly is she crying about? There are to many reasons to count, obviously.
Some Yoda, she is. Sad Shane, bummer she is. Oh how the mighty fall. Back
she will be, vacation she is on.
Dana brings Howie some blankets. She's glad he's there. Alice says he's
going to ruin Pride. Where is he gonna be during the parade, she says. Dana
will be on the Gay and Lesbian Center float. Dana says hey Alice "the Chart"
Pieszecki you can come on the float with me. But what about Howie, "he can
come to." Alice says I love you Dana, again. Only instead of reciprocation
she says, "I'm gonna set the alarm."
Mark has brought scones and coffee for them. He asks Shaney if he can talk
to Flower but Shane tells him "you need to ask her, yourself". So he does.
He sits down, at the kitchen table. Blah, Blah. He says he wished he could
do something to fix this. He tells her they have made him a better man. Uh
oh. Oh no. Jenny has gone mad. She tells him its not her "job to make him a
better man, now fuck off!!" She doesn't "give a shit", whether or not she
helped him. "Give her one good reason why I should forgive you." He says he
made a big mistake and she has taught him what it feels like to be a woman.
Jenny walks off and Mark follows into the kitchen, where he proceeds to
strip. He asks her if this is what she wants? For him to humiliate himself?
Naked Mark, really naked, a whole lotta naked. She throws a marker at him
and tells him to "write fuck me on yourself and go out into the street and
let anyone who wants to, fuck him. Then when its over tell them thank you
very, very much. Then you will know what it feels like to be a woman." And
storms off. Shane comes in and sees Mark and he is embarrassed so he pulls
up his pants. Jenny sure does have some really, really deep seeded problems.
Lots of stuff going on here. Dana is going on the float only, Al and How's
names aren't on the list. So Dana goes without them even after Alice has
made it clear she isn't ok with it. Shane asks Jenny and Alice to go to the
Dykes on bikes with her. Jenny wants to be an observer. Alice tells Shane
that she told Dana twice she loved her but she didn't tell her back. Shane
spots Carmen. A preoccupied stare occurs. Alice doesn't know why she is
asking Shane about this because she doesn't have feelings of love. Shane
says, Hey I can see that she loves you, stop worrying. They proceed to the
hogs. Al gets on with Large Marge. Shane gets on with a dykier woman then
herself. It's the double dyke byke.
Hellena and Tina are watching the parade and talking. This is T's 7th pride,
and Hellena's first. Blah... Blah... Blah.
Dana and Alice are looking for Howie. They find Jenny by the ring toss, and
ask her where he is. They ponder whether he is in a sports bar. Heh.
The Punish-Her is handing out flyers for her
(18+ Links within). She asks Flower if she will see her there. She likes to
"punish and tease." Al and Dana mill over the idea of bondage class, sure
why not, have fun. That certainly was the gayest parade ever.
Bette finds a picture of her mom and dad and her. She is sooo broken. She
wishes her mom was there. Kit comes by to bring Bette something to eat, and
see Melvin. Mel apologizes to her for all the years that he left them alone.
He asks if his baby is there. Kit says yes. Bette comes over to the bed. He
takes both their hands and says "I love you both." Bette and Kit are broken
Alice and Dana go over the list of Bondage classes. Seven points on the
cross, all different. And there is free buffet till six. So they enter, five
seconds later, they exit. They decide to go to the Planet. Hmpf, must not
have been for them.
Dancing, and Drinking, Carmen is DJ-ing. An older Irish sounding woman spots
Jenny through the glass door frame. Granny Les says this is more like gay
shame, rather then gay pride because most have more shame then pride. She
asks Jenny to dance and other stuff, and I was like you don't want to mess
with Jenny, Grandma. Jenny shuts her down, but not before kissing her cheek
and saying happy pride. Hellena and Tina, are there now. Hellena introduces
Tina to her friend Lee. By the way Lee looks a lot like Hellena. She asks
HP-clone to dance. So Tina just stands there, and acts to pregnant to dance.
She passes Bookworm and 40 Love as they are coming in. She says she just
needs some air, she'll be back. What she needs, is Bette. Duh. Dana and
Alice spot Howie, drinking a cosmo with his shirt off dancing with a gay
man. She yells at him but, he says he's known he was gay since he was four.
Then he asks her to tell their parents. She says OK. I'm like why the hell
would you tell your parents for him? You've been through that once, I think
that is sufficient for one gay person. Make him tell them. Why have them
blame you, for his being gay?
Circus Tent Center Ring
Mark drops off the keys and Jenny catches him. She goes into a spiel and it
goes a little something like this:
Jenny- You've opened up this Pandora's box. And now you're just running
Jenny- So I dare you to just stay here and deal with this.
Mark-...(picks up keys without hesitation)
Jenny- We're not friends. >:(
Foxy talks to Mel while he sleeps. About Sunday church, and his 3 piece suit
and pointy shoes. She thought he was the handsomest man in the world. He was
everything, she thought a man should be. She thought he was asleep. Mel
wakes up and says "Is that right? I'm not dead yet. Where is TOES?" She says
he is with his wife and kids. "You shouldn't have let him go. If he is the
man you want to be with you should be with him whatever the cost." "Like you
did with mom?" "I did what I had to do was right, sometimes it comes with a
price." "Yeah it does."
Dane and Al dance, and giggle. They stop for a second so Dana can tell Alice
she loves her. Aww that was sweet. Let me make it clear for you. I want them
to stay together. But, just don't get your hopes up, it can't last.
Jenny comes by to check out the "treatment" and as she is being strapped to
the table she has a flashback to her rape as a child. There are lots of
little boys surrounding her. She must be 8 or so. It happened at the circus.
You know this whole time I was thinking something awful must have happened
to her at the circus, to make her that weird. She cries there on the table
and says "fuck." Per her usual.
Shane confronts Carmen. " I never had a hamster. I did have a dog. I have a
brother, I never met him because we didn't grow up together. My mom put me
in foster care when I was nine but I still love her very much." I'm going to
cry now. So is Carmen. She cups Shane's face for a bit, and then walks off,
without saying a word. Shane is flabbergasted I think. What's her problem,
now? What exactly did Shane do? Im confused. Is it too late??? DUN DUN
Next The L Word
Al gives Dana permission to go out with Lara, much to her dismay. Carmen and
Shane are invited to Jenny's new "job". Bette moves Melvin into her home,
and risks everything. Tina comforts Bette... one step at a time more. And
Mark and Hellena and Kit, you are grounded no trailer time. Which means
you're not an important enough story line. Sorry.
It's almost as if I saw it coming. Oh well. I got the short episode this
week. Coming in at a mere 45 minutes. I'll see you on the saddest day of the
year, May 15th for the finale. I have a few shitty pics of the
Sarah McLachlan concert if anybody cares.
Comments? Praise? Criticism?