Season 4, what's Up, what's Not and what's Hot
by Janine Avril
The opening episode of Season Four was certainly not a disappointment.
The train has got back on the track after derailing for a few minutes
there at the end of Season Three, scaring the living daylights out of us
die hard fans about the fate of the characters. Bette was on a
kidnapping mission in Canada, Tina was finally getting some real live
cock, and Alice was about to channel Dana's ghost through Lara. I was
just about to refill my Prozac prescription, but Season Four thus far
has left me strangely optimistic so I'm holding off for now. I'll review
the selling points of the episode first, and then touch on what I could
have done without.
Hands down to Joyce Wischnia for telling two girls who are warring over
their biracial baby just what they would be in for if they decided to go
to court to claim sole custody of Angelica. "A media bonanza." Well put
Chaiken. Sharp, cutting edge social commentary. Joyce's diatribe
while keeping Bette and Tina locked inside her office was much needed
perspective for those two nut jobs and good brain candy for the rest of
us who should contemplate how such a court case might unfold in the
political climate of America these days. The scene was also well acted.
Laurel Holloman is really hot when she gets feisty, and Jennifer Beals
rocked an excellent fake cry.
The Jenny and Moira/Max relationship has at last come to its much needed
demise. Those two had less on screen chemistry than any L Word couple so
far and frankly I am pleased to see Jenny back with a hot femme, where
she belongs. While Claude, her French flame, seems to have the depth of
a paper plate, at least watching her and Jenny fuck is a serious joyride
for some of us, namely me. Jenny and Max doing it was pitiful - glad to
not be seeing any more of that.
To take a short tangent off of "selling points" I think this is a good
time to note that Jenny is completely ruthless towards her ex lovers.
The minute she moves on from a relationship, she has no problem screwing
her latest find less than two feet away from her ex. (First it was Robin
that she was screwing when Tim was right in the backyard peeking through
the window of the writer's studio) and now it is Claude she's banging
right in front of Max. While I really can't blame her for shacking up
with Claude after being stuck with Max for all of Season Three, she
really could demonstrate a little more tact towards people that have
feelings for her.
Back to selling points: I applaud Jenny's fuck off speech to Max. She
will not be a "straight girl" to his "straight guy" because she is a
lesbian who likes to fuck women. Well put. I'd feel the same way. Being
straight once was most definitely enough. But just one question, wasn't
Jenny totally into Max's transition last season? Didn't she herself
inject his black market testosterone? Did she know
deep down in her devious little narcissistic mind that the minute he
grew a beard she'd be kicking him right down Melrose Boulevard??? In any
case, I can empathize with a lesbian not wanting to be a straight girl
again, specifically with her ex girlfriend.
I'm excited to see the trials and tribulations of Max going on a date
with his boss's daughter. How the hell is he going to explain to her
that there is nothing between his legs but a packed silicone cock? This
totally intrigues me, and I think this storyline is a nice portrait of
the trans mans dilemma. How does he go about dating when women don't
know he's trans? I see a Boy's Don't Cry motif written all over this,
but I'm hoping for a better outcome. No murders hopefully
although with Little Chicken, who knows?
I am really enjoying the Helena riches to rags storyline. I actually
found myself having anxiety that she was going broke. Projection
probably, even if to her being broke is not being able to buy $3500
boots and to me being broke is being unable to make rent because I've
eaten far too many eight dollar salads at Whole Foods. But I found my
heart palpitating while pondering the question, "What is Helena going to
do???" She was soaking her feet in her gorgeous Malibu swimming pool,
knowing that pretty soon she'd be crashing on Alice's futon, eating TV
dinners. Welcome to the real word Helena, by American standards of
course. By far, the greatest line of the evening was Helena's when she
said, "I never knew that being poor could make me feel all warm and
fuzzy." Genius satire. I can't wait to see how it all plays out.
Alice is back and better than ever despite the recent death of her best
friend. She is busy coaching Helena to accept the fate of her downward
spiral towards third world poverty, keeping "Our Chart" alive, and about
to embark on a serious mission to locate "Papi" who
has allegedly slept with over 1000 women. Disgusting. I hate Papi
already. As much as I love women, that is truly repulsive as well as
ludicrous. Which steers me away from my selling points and straight to
what was way over the top about this episode:
1) The mere suggestion that any woman has been in contact with more than
1000 other vaginas.
2) The storyline of an abortion clinic in Los Angeles being staffed with
born again Christian, bible thumping, pro life poco loco monsters.
3) Shane as action figure.
And I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that all in one day Shane nearly
drowned in the Pacific Ocean drugged up, crashed Cherie Jaffe's car,
broke her nose and then walked all the way home bleeding half to death
to find her long lost brother on her doorstep. Too much drama packed in
Cherie Jaffe was out of character. Family woman gone coke head?
Marina returning also got under my skin. At the very least, I wanted her
and Jenny to make love passionately. It would have been really hot to
see Jenny have her first love back, albeit for a little while before
Marina either tried to kill herself again or admitted to Jenny that she
had another girlfriend in Italy. The word on the street these days is
that people don't change, but it would have been cool to see more about
Marina's journey from being suicidal to truly getting her shit together
and starting her own dance company. Instead, all we got was Marina
telling us that she was staying at the Bel-Air (the site of her
attempted suicide) and Jenny and Claude headed there to have a
ménage à trois with
her. Let me pose a question to all you thinkers out there - How sexy is
taking your new girlfriend to have sex with you and your first love at
the place where your first love nearly fucking killed herself over
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus Christ. This show goes off the deep end
All in all, I was pleased with the episode and will be back with more
Until next week,