Leslie - People have all kinds of feelings. It doesn't mean they're supposed
to act on them.
Alice - Sign it "Dana Fairbanks - professional lesbian".
Marina - Your parents must be so proud.
Alice - Dana? Did you not do it?
Marina - You didn't come out to your parents yet?
Shane - Well I think Subaru is going to do it for you.
Alice - Dana, talk to me, I want to help.
Dana - I just, I can't believe my life right now you know. I fucked up so
badly with Lara and now you guys are laughing at me. I just, I can't handle
Alice - All right, I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole.
Alice - I can look republican.
Annette - Francesca's going down.
Alice - OK all right, let's review the strategy one more time. We exchange
Dana - Mom tells me how thin I look.
Alice - Your father asks how my career is going. Then you tell them, just
blurt it out.
Dana - Before lunch. Before mom gets the award.
Alice - Right. She'll keep it together, she's not going on that stage with
her mascara running.
Sharon - Dana, sweetie, what was that?
Dana - My Subaru ad.
Erwin - Every time something wonderful happens to you, you downplay it. That
ad was very impressive.
Sharon - Honey, when were you going to tell us? I mean a few more surprises
like that and I could keel over from a heart attack!
Dana - I...
Alice - It's your day. It's your day! She didn't want to steal your thunder.
[To Dana] You didn't want to take it away.
Sharon - I just can't wait to tell your aunt Sasha and the boys. I'm sure
she hasn't seen it or she'd be screaming.
Dana - I'm sure she would be.
Sharon - What did it say again dear? "Get out, and stay out!"
Dana - yeah.
Sharon - I'm not really sure what that means.
Dana - Umm... it means... uh... it's a marketing campaign for women who are
like me, who are out...doorsy. Like me, outdoors playing tennis!
Alice - OK, I'm pretty sure they have no idea what it means.
Dana - You think?
Alice - Or they totally get it but they've spun into some black hole of
denial and turned into robots or something.
Howie - What up, lesbos?
Howie - I gotta tell ya. When Mom and Dad disown you and all, I'll still
come and visit.
Erwin - I take it you're a part of this lifestyle too?
Alice - Me? No, I have a boyfriend.
Dana - A boyfriend? Thanks.
Dana - I'm sorry. I didn't do this to hurt you.
Sharon - We all have feelings for our girlfriends Dana, it doesn't mean you
have to act on them.
Bette - What I want to know, is how do you justify pushing me so hard to
come out as a black woman when all the while you've let us mistake you for a
Yolanda - You thought I was straight?
Bette - Well why wouldn't I? You're not exactly readable as a lesbian and
you didn't come out and declare yourself.
Bette - You don't know how I've gone through the world. You have no idea.
Annette - Yeah well, you are one hell of a tramp, Jenny and I've seen you
work that! Remember all the professors in college?