Niki's Agent: I'd fuck him.
Tina: A dick that everybody likes.
I need to talk to you - RIGHT - NOW.
Jenny: Okay, okay. [softly, to Adele] Mom's calling.
Tina: They're insisting she take a date
to the Liquid Heat premiere tomorrow night.
Jenny: Oh, she is. She's taking me.
Tina: Not unless you grow a penis.
Niki: And they're making me take fucking
Greg. That cheeseball, Greg.
Jenny: The Greg who plays Tim in the fucking film? That midget?
Phyllis: You could end up like her.
Molly: What's wrong with Shane?
Phyllis: She's a hairdresser. That's what happens to people who don't
get degrees, they end up in the service professions.
Phyllis: She's a lothario, and a cad.
and the kind of boy you fall in love with in high school before you know any
better. Thank G-d you're not a lesbian.
Phyllis: Where are you going?
Molly: To go gay for Shane. We're going to adopt Chinese babies and live
in a trailer park.
Shane: Oh my G-d, you're alive.
Molly: I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
Shane: I called you? I might have called you, but it was a long time
ago. Alzheimer's kicked in at some point.
Jenny: [to the security] I don't
Molly: You're thinking, 'here's this
stupid little straight girl who doesn't know who she is or what she wants to
do with her life', and you're just going to sit there and be charming
until I sleep with you.
Shane: Oh! I think nothing of the sort.
Molly: You don't want to sleep with me.
Molly: Why not?!
Shane: And then I'd be stuck in the cold
with nothing but the distant memory of mediocre sex. And I'd be out of
Colonel Davis: It's
nice to see you again Ms. Pieszecki.
Alice: I wish I could say the same.
Colonel Davis: Have you had sexual
relations with Captain Williams?
Alice: You know what? This whole thing - this whole thing is a crock.
It's a frickin' witch hunt.
I mean, you're trying to say that Tasha's a lesbian because of her
association with me. With lame, trumped up evidence. I'm sorry, but I
could just as easily say that I think you're a lesbian, Colonel
Davis. With the propensity to engage in homosexual conduct because of the
way you looked at me in the hallway the other day.
Colonel Davis: That's enough, Ms. Pieszecki.
Alice: I mean, if all I have to do is establish that you know a
lesbian, one lesbian, and maybe you had lunch with her once. I
bet there aren't a lot of women who wear that uniform who haven't
eaten out with a lesbian in their time.
Colonel Davis: I'd like to request a 15 minute recess to let Ms.
Pieszecki collect herself.
Alice: I'm okay. If you wanna keep... [everyone leaves the courtroom]
Did I say something?
Tasha: It seems so wrong, now, to have my personal freedom denied to me
within my own country. It seems wrong to watch the person that I love to be
interrogated like a criminal when she did nothing wrong.
Colonel Davis: Person you love. To whom are you referring, Captain
Tasha: Alice Pieszecki, Colonel.
Colonel Davis: It's a shame, Captain
Williams. Personal freedom is an enviable thing. But personal sacrifice to
ensure that many more Americans can enjoy their freedom. That's the nobler
cause. Good luck to you.