Alice: Oh my G-d! You little sneaky fag!
Tasha: That little piece of shit poser!
It's one thing to keep your business to yourself; but it's another thing to
go spread lies and hatred.
Alice: I know! He was like three feet away from me - asking me about my
Tasha: Whatever. He'll get his some day.
Alice: It's because of people like that that you have to fight so hard
to keep your job.
Tasha: I wish I could smack the shit out of that guy and out his
hypocritical ass, but it ain't going to happen.
Cindy: Apparently L.A. lesbians like
to do everything in their car.
Shane: That and they love their caffeine.
Jenny: Don't listen to her. She wears
mom jeans with camel toe.
Jesus! Fuck, Adele. You scared the shit out of me, woman.
Alice: How's Jenny's indentured servant
working out there?
Shane: I gotta say, I think she's kinda cute.
Alice: I know! In a nerdy way. I think so too.
Shane: Right. Yes. I think she could be kinda hot.
Shane: Do me a favor. Call her, get her
over here, then we can all bring sexy back together.
Tina: I know you want to fix everything
okay, but you just have to let her fail or succeed all on her own. Okay?
Otherwise it's just a disaster. For both of you.
Bette: So, you're saying that I should stay out of it?
Shane: Now that was some good
Alice: I do not
think it's okay to kiss your boyfriend one day and then go out and trash gay
people the next!
Shane: So, you're
Shane: Good. Congratulations.
Shaun actress: Thanks. You know, I'm not gay.
Shaun actress: I have a boyfriend, so....
Shane: Good for you.
Shaun actress: I just play gay.
Shaun actress: Gay for pay.
Shane: [chucking] That's cute.
Bette: Does she seriously think that Jenny's idiotic drivel is
reflective of me and my life at all? I can't answer your fucking "why's."
You know why? Because it's not me. It's not me. And apart from
anything else I am frankly - fucking flabbergasted! I am
that she has such a white actress...she's white. Okay. Was Mary
fucking Poppins not available? I mean, really, what the fuck can she
possibly know about my life. What can she know?
Isabella: Is she black?
Bette: I want to go. I want to get out of here.
Jodi: What's the matter with you?
Bette: You're flirting with her.
Jodi:I'm having a good time.
Bette: With that Helena clone?
Jodi:I'm not flirting with her. I'm just talking with her. She's nice
Bette: She's all over you.
Jodi:You're insane! She's the straightest person I've ever met! I was
trying to explain to her how lesbian sex works. Plus, she has a boyfriend.
Bette: Well, I'm leaving.
Jodi:Fine. I'll see you later.
happened the other night, it was a mistake. It just shouldn't have happened.
Bette: We just got caught up - in a moment.
Tina: It's just not going to happen again.
Bette: No, of course not. Are you sorry that it did?
Tina: Yes, I am. [long pause] Are you in love with Jodi?
Bette: Yes, I am.
Shane: [offering a
brownie] You want one?
Shaun actress: Oh no, I'm good.
Shane: Hey listen, they're not gay. I promise.
Alice: Oh my G-d, what if they were gay! What if the brownies were gay?!
Shane: They're all fucking each other.
Shane & Alice: [making talking brownie noises]
Alice: Hey, you're hot!
Jenny: And then you remember that you have this man, named Jim, who likes to
Jenny: Where's the lock? Where's
my...? There's no lock.
going to fuck in a closet.
Jenny: The irony hasn't escaped me.
Shane: I used to fuck in this pool.
Tina: Fuck it. Who cares. This used to be my pool.
Alice: You guys, I think I lost my buzz. I'm going to go get another pot