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:: L A Y U P ::

Quotes By

Papi: "It's called the court."
Alice: "Whatever."

Phyllis: I just hope I don't end up on OurChart.
Bette: Phyllis, you can't end up on OurChart unless...
Phyllis: [waves & exits]
Bette: [to herself] Fuck me.

Brooke [to Max]: You're a freak. I don't date freaks. How dare you? You liar. What do you think I am?"

[Alice to Helena about basketball]
"It's like you're drying your nails... drying your nails... block me"

"And I still need to teach you how to slap the asses."

"I think you might be our secret weapon. Huh."


Hazel [to Angus]: "I pride myself on being good to go on a lot of things."


Kit: "I don't want a double digit shoe."

Alice: "Papi's going down."

Alice [to Shane]: "Well, First of all, do something about the sneaks, and second of all quit worrying, and just like flirt with the teacher."

Helena: "When did trainers get that expensive?"
Alice: "Um, let me 1980."

Bette [quoting Jeanette Winterston]: "What art does is coax us away from the mechanical and toward the miraculous."

Random Mom [about Shane]: I didn't know this was back to School of Rock night.
Random Mom #2: Maybe Patti Smith's just here for the free food.

Paige: Ignore them, sometimes being a parent causes dementia. With side affects of pettiness.

Bette: I cannot believe you fucked my boss. Do you understand the consequences of this.
Alice: Really intense , great orgasms?

Alice: It's all about me broadening my horizons right now and... I liked trying an older vintage.

Alice: Oh, it's so clever, I can't believe myself.

[Playing Basketball]

Papi: I'm gonna cover you.
Shane: Okay.

Papi: So, you're my competition, Vanilla.
Shane: Whatever you say, Pops.

Papi: What you doing, Rodeo Drive?
Bette: Shopping, Bitch.

Alice: Are we at The Planet right now? I don't think so.
Jenny: No, but I told you not to throw it to me.

Papi: But I will still kick your micro ass.
Shane: Yeah okay, Dad.

Jenny: Bette.
Bette: What?!
Jenny: You're scaring me.
Bette: Ball in!

Papi: Don't be mad, Brown Barbie.
Bette: Who the fuck you calling "Brown Barbie?" You fucking Carmelita Tropicana.

Helena: Will somebody tell me when basketball became the new lesbian sport.
Alice: It always has been.

[about Shane]: I told you she was perfect.






Products/Services/People pimped in this episode: Curve Magazine, Elle Magazine, Hugo Boss, Big Business, 9 To 5, Lily Tomlin, Naomi Watts, I Heart Huckabees, Bikini Kill, Le Tigre, Julie Ruin, Kathleen Hanna, Riot Grrrl, Terrell Owens, Desperate Housewives.


The L Word Online has been designed by Oz and Slicey.  Unique images designed by Oz.  Site maintained by Oz & Slicey.  This website is intended to be fun and informative, and was created with respect to show appreciation for the women and men involved in the creation of TV's first real lesbian drama.  This site is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Showtime Networks Inc., the television series "The L Word," or any person involved in the making of the show.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Images and other borrowed content are copyright their respective owners.  Credit is given where due.  All original content is the sole property of  the creators of The L Word Online copyright October 2003.