Papi: "It's called the court."
Phyllis: I just
hope I don't end up on OurChart.
Bette: Phyllis, you can't end up on OurChart unless...
Phyllis: [waves & exits]
Bette: [to herself] Fuck me.
Brooke [to Max]: You're a freak. I don't
date freaks. How dare you? You liar. What do you think I am?"
[Alice to Helena about basketball]
"It's like you're drying your nails... drying your nails... block me"
"And I still need to teach you how to slap the asses."
"I think you might be our secret weapon. Huh."
Hazel [to Angus]: "I pride myself on being
good to go on a lot of things."
Kit: "I don't want a double digit shoe."
Alice: "Papi's going down."
Alice [to Shane]: "Well, First of all, do something about the sneaks, and
second of all quit worrying, and just like flirt with the teacher."
Helena: "When did trainers get that expensive?"
Alice: "Um, let me see...in 1980."
Bette [quoting Jeanette Winterston]: "What
art does is coax us away from the mechanical and toward the miraculous."
Random Mom [about Shane]: I didn't know this
was back to School of Rock night.
Random Mom #2: Maybe Patti Smith's just here for the free food.
Paige: Ignore them, sometimes being a parent
causes dementia. With side affects of pettiness.
Bette: I cannot believe you fucked my boss.
Do you understand the consequences of this.
Alice: Really intense , great orgasms?
Alice: It's all about me broadening my horizons right now and... I liked
trying an older vintage.
Alice: Oh, it's so clever, I can't believe myself.
Papi: I'm gonna cover you.
Papi: So, you're my competition, Vanilla.
Shane: Whatever you say, Pops.
Papi: What you doing, Rodeo Drive?
Bette: Shopping, Bitch.
Alice: Are we at The Planet right now? I don't think so.
Jenny: No, but I told you not to throw it to me.
Papi: But I will still kick your micro ass.
Shane: Yeah okay, Dad.
Jenny: You're scaring me.
Bette: Ball in!
Papi: Don't be mad, Brown Barbie.
Bette: Who the fuck you calling "Brown Barbie?" You fucking Carmelita
Helena: Will somebody tell me when basketball became the new lesbian sport.
Alice: It always has been.
[about Shane]: I told you she was perfect.
Products/Services/People pimped in this episode:
9 To 5,