Shane Shane Shane. Jenny Jenny Jenny
Jenny. Redrum. Hello! Welcome to the Romper Room. Today we'll be observing
episode 602 of The L Word, titled
"Least Likely." As in "The L Word is the teevee program least likely
to be good." I'm flying from Los Angeles to New York City this
afternoon/evening so if this gets to your neck of the planet prior to your
actual viewing, then you know. Just wait and read it after.
Hey guess what, I got a gig on Showtime, I'm the
new Lezberado. You
should watch it. Apparently a bajillion people already have. Who was the old
Lezberado, you may ask. I have no idea. Let's not dwell though. Not today!
Not on L Word Day! We didn't dwell on Dana's death, so ...
This week's viewing party was attended by
Tinkerbell and ...
me! Actually from now on I'd like you to refer to me as "Easy Street."
That's where you can pick up the train that goes to Lezzie Town.
We open on Nikki, looking
Brett-Easton-Ellis-novel coked out, in bed with a trampy blue-bikinied
groupie. The groupie paws at Nikki and moans that being sad is so boring.
Good point. Well it could be worse, it could be sad + Holocaust paper dolls
+ creepy poltergeist music.
Nikki gets up, incensed, and parades around the MTV Cribs beach-house
yelling like a crazy person: "She called ME she wanted ME and then she goes
all Paris and Britney on me fucks me all night long and then she has the
nerve to call me a showmance! I don't even know what the fuck that
Like in Showmeo and Juliet
Well, Nikki has recovered
nicely from the brain damage she suffered between seasons 5 and 6 --
although she lost 75% of her brain cells, her motor skills are well above
par and she seems to have found a similarly brain-damaged peer group.
on the TWOP board noted that "what Ilene has done [in Season Six] is
rob Nikki of her vulnerability and sincerity [which she had in Season Five.]"
"I wanna watch a teevee show about those girls!"
Riese: "I think it's called 'Gimme Sugar.'"
I'm gonna replace you with SUNSET TAN, beeotch!
I'm gonna go there way more than I ever talk to you! Put your ribs away!
Nikki says the girl in the
blue bikini is officially out of her Top Five for positing: "I wonder who it
is that broke her heart?" That's fine, she can go be in Maxim's Top
"This episode of The L Word is brought to you by T-Mobile!"
Caitlin: "And Whole Foods!"
Robin: [cheesy voice] "Hey Guys! My name is SHANE! And this is my
BAG! From Whole Foods!"
Riese: [ditto] "There's enough hummus in it for everyone in your
Top Five! From T-Mobile!"
"I think Nikki's on coke."
Carly: "This is gonna be the part of the show where everyone
starts saying they're gonna kill Jenny Schecter."
Riese: "Jenny is DEAD meat!"
Carly: "I'm gonna KILL her!"
Riese: "Who's dead to you NOW, Jenny? Yeah?"
To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Kit Porter
I think this is the Halloween episode of My So-Called Life,
or at least these outfits are. One of Kit Porter's many fans, a drag queen
named "Sunset Boulevard," is joining the team at HIT, along with at least
ten yards of gold lamè. They'll probs fall in love, she's definitely Kit's
type. You know, the drag king, T.O.E., the lesbian Don Juanita, the scruffy
acoustic Manny, etc. Kit has a kid, so I guess she must've been married
once. I wish she'd had a relationship with Slim Daddy. I think Kit's type is
"crazy-ass motherfuckers." Well, I was a superfan of Ivan 'til her character
changed in Season Two.
Drinking game suggestion -- every time someone references being a HUGE Kit
Porter fan, take a drink. Of sparkling grape juice.
Doesn't Helena look good in glasses?
Kit makes a very amazing noise here:
"OOOO GIRL!! Somebody's been working OUT!"
I'm 90% sure that SB thinks Kit & Helena are girlfriends. Which'd make as
much sense as anything else that's ever happened to Helena.