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:: L O N G  N I G H T ' S  J O U R N E Y  I N T O  D A Y ::
#6.01 Recap Blog by Riese

This is what I do: I recap. I keep score. I count the number of Lesbian Sex Moments, Lesbian Foreplay Moments, Non-Lesbian Sex Moments and Lesbian Squabbles. I give you your weekly Kittism and your weekly Jenny Moment and your Quote of the Week. I give you Screencaps.
 

 

 


La la la la la la. L word L Word L Word. Shane Shane Shane Shane Jenny Jenny Jenny Jenny. Kill kill kill kill. Bette Bette Bette Tina Tina Tina. Let's make it like The Gauntlet this year. We'll be on teams, and an exec board will determine point distribution at each episode's end. Like Team Shenny, Team "TiBette" (not to be confused with the country, which's quite different), Team Sholly ... Sharmen obvs, but those kids haven't had a good season in a while. RIP Danish. Team Dylena, Talice ... you know. JoBette. Um, who did Max date? Tax? KitTOE? Mace? Paine? HellKat? Jiki? Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do? Those are the lyrics to EZ Girl's next single. You read it here first. Today I'm going to talk to you about feelings.

I got really upset when I learned all the remaining episode titles and none of them were "LL Cool J," starring LL Cool J, which is what I thought this show was eventually going to be about. I sat through Bette's meditation retreat, Jenny's poetry and Henry's toenails waiting for Ladies Love Cool James. Sigh.

Anyhow let's go!

Episode 601: "Long Night's Journey into Day" Recap starts now.
(now now now now now)

*
601 recappers intro

As this picture demonstrates, our enthusiasm for Episode 601 is high. Guests for today's premiere include last year's guests Carly and Alex and Caitlin (not pictured) as well as L Word Online co-leader Oz (all the way from Australia!), Alexi's Closet superstar Alexi Melvin as well as supreme Canadian artist Sam and supreme photographer Robin. I like to surround myself with beautiful talented people. "Supreme," you could say.

Carly: You know what would be fucking awesome?
Riese: Kool-Aid?
Carly: If they got some random hot celebrity lesbian icon to be in the last season of The L Word, like -- like -- as a guest role --
Riese: Oh my G-d, I'm totally feeling you--
Carly: And they could be like a cop or something -- and be like in the very first scene --
Riese: Yeah like if Xena the Warrior Princess stepped out of that car --
[Lucy Lawless steps out of the car]
Carly & Riese: OMG OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAD NO IDEA LUCY LAWLESS!!!

Lucy Lawless

I Was Told I'd Find my Fan Base Here?
This is that show no one actually likes but everyone has to watch out of homosexual obligation, right? Anyone? Ah There They Are!
 


Xena the Warrior Princess has gone to Police Academy and now she's at Casa Bettina. I guess someone died. I wonder who it was. Probs Angus, did you ever like that dude? Yeah me neither. There's been plenty of logical spaces to insert a murder over the last four years, why this, and now? E.g., if someone had murdered Season Two Mark, that'd explain his sudden undiscussed absence. God I'm obsessed with that kid! VANISHED! Like a Cipher in the Snow! Where's his lesbian icon superheroine?

Anyhow ... you know the drill: body found in the pool, ladies inside, a bottle of wine, some sort of party. If you missed the first two minutes, do yourself a favor and kill yourself right now. Jenny did. JK, dunno who killed her but I've got a new theory -- self-defense. The L-Word Ladies aren't killers but Jenny coulda gone off the deep end (no pun intended) (totally intended) and tried to off one of them, and one must defend oneself. These girls don't look too upset, this isn't exactly Sitting Shivah.

You know, the more I watch this (many times) the more it seems like either all these actors are bad actors, or all these characters are acting. You get my drift? Srsly think about it.
 

++
screencap of the l word friends shocked
Sooo ... anyone wanna grab a cheeseburger and hit the cemetery?

Sgt. Xena is gonna have to ask the ladies a few questions. MMM hmm. Shane'll go first, the evidence is inside her vaginal canal, let's get this show on the road! Good thing they brought Angie out for all this. That girl's not gonna have enough questions for her future therapist as it is.
 

Riese: "Angelica was "asleep at the time of the incident." Not exactly a rock-solid alibi."
Carly: "What if Angelica was like, 'I'm just here to help guys!', with a little Fisher Price fingerprint duster."

 

jenny's body being wheeled out
OH MY FUCKING GOD! IT'S JENNY! IT'S JENNY SHE'S DEAD YOU GUYS!
++
the recap crew trying to look shocked
Everyone is doing a really pathetic job of looking "shocked" in this photo.
 

This show's persistent employment of "The Way that We Live" reminds us immediately THAT NO ONE CARES WHAT WE WANT. Regardless, if you look really closely (and I'm sure many of you have), not only do you see that all these people are one-dimensional (I know, it's teevee, but you know what I'm talking about, do nice), but that Jenny is fully SKIPPING her way through the intro. Skipping her way towards DEATH, is more like it.

 

screencap of opening credits
This is The Way it's the Way That We Skip


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The L Word Online has been designed by Oz and Slicey.  Unique images designed by Oz.  Site maintained by Oz & Slicey.  This website is intended to be fun and informative, and was created with respect to show appreciation for the women and men involved in the creation of TV's first real lesbian drama.  This site is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Showtime Networks Inc., the television series "The L Word," or any person involved in the making of the show.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Images and other borrowed content are copyright their respective owners.  Credit is given where due.  All original content is the sole property of  the creators of The L Word Online copyright October 2003.