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:: L E T S  G E T  T H I S  P A R T Y  S T A R T E D ::
#5.04 Recap Blog by Riese

This is what I do: I keep score. I count the number of Lesbian Sex Moments, Lesbian Foreplay Moments, Non-Lesbian Sex Moments and Lesbian Squabbles. I monitor and record the fluctuation of my bisexuality on a Kinsey Scale. I give you your weekly Kittism and your weekly Jenny Moment and your Quote of the Week. I give you Screencaps.



Live from Miami ... it's L-WORD NIGHT!

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a Broadway star like Shirley Temple, singing and dancing in sailor outfits on the Good Ship Lollipop. Then I grew up and realised I couldn't sing, got kicked out of choir, realised I didn't like other people, and found my true calling: staying indoors, typing away in a cold dark room. This happens to many people: one day you wake up and realise your true calling is not what you've always thought it was. EZ Girl/Elizabeth Ziff -- I know you think you're the musical director of The L Word ... but you're actually a writer. Maybe Ilene is the songwriter of your duo? You should switch it up, perhaps she's got a new vision for the opening theme song or she could call in Peaches or The Monkees to fix it up. Every episode EZ Girl writes is surprisingly not terrible. I mean, she wrote the basketball episode, my favorite.

Also, did your head explode at the end? Like the Uh Huh Her song "Explode"? Well, pick up the pieces, it's recap time!

This week's episode viewing was attended by me, Alex, Haviland and Cait. For some reason, Cait remains uninterested in participating in our themed photo shoots, e.g., this week's shoot on the balcony of our Key Bisquane hotel room. Yes: we were on vaycay in the sunshine, it was perfect. Speaking of perfect, my heart will grow three sizes if y'all stop by the Lesbian Blog of the Year site and nominate me! (Just comment and nominate Riese with my URL--autostraddle and/or autowin) I want to win a lesbian duck, it's important, Tinkerbell needs a playmate.

Haiku for Ilene Chaiken:
They say love is blind.
I admit, E-Ziff can write.
Love is a flower.

1. Rue is actually spelled "roux." Potato, Po-tah-to.
2. Bette does drink, she just doesn't drink a lot. I don't really know why I keep thinking she doesn't drink. I mean, I know Kit's the alcoholic, I had this idea Bette also forewent drinking in a show of solidarity. Anyhow I changed it as soon as I read that comment so as to look smarter, probs none of you even noticed.
3. I am clearly practically a Perfect Supreme Being.
4. "3" isn't true.
5. Late Addition (also adding to the point made in "4") - I spelled Taloo wrong again. It's Tulum. Right? Hm.


I Want You To Want Me : Back in Hollywood, Tina and Jenny are auditioning girls for the coveted role of "Jessie" in the action-adventure thriller musical romantic comedy of the summer (probs the biggest comedy of the summer), "Lez Girls." Nikki, who looks almost exactly like Tish from Tim Haspel's swim team, is gonna get the part, I remember her from the preview. She really steps it up for her audition by sucking face with the woman who's reading as "Karina."


Lesbian Sexy Moment #10: You Kiss Me Like a Lover Then You Sting me Like A Viper
The Players : Nikki and "Karina"
The Pick Up : "I hate you so much Karina, I absolutely hate you, I really .... I love you ... I love you." (sidenote: I love that this scripted pick-up line, read in the context of an audition, is one of the most realistic yet.)
Hot or Not? Hot like Fire baby. I wouldn't mind being a part of this moment -- and Nikki's a good kisser, going for open-mouth w/tongue on her first shot. I like that in a woman.

Haviland : Ye-yuh!
Riese : [to Hav] Has that ever happened to you in an audition?
Haviland : Um ... no.
Alex: It should!

The First Rule Of Fight Club is Always Look Cute at Fight Club : In Season Five of The L Word, the girls suddenly acquire copious amounts of free time to spend all together, which's fine, that's how teevee friends always are, and it's kinda like Season One, a.k.a., when this show was good. Love it! This time last season, the Mannyfucker was giving Mangus a beejer but now: the girls're all in shorts & tank tops touching each other and expressing their copious amounts of feelings via punching, hair-strokage, and frontal sumo grips. A lot of exposition happens in this scene, I'd like to cover it all but Hav thinks I spend too much time on recaps so I'm resisting the urge to detail every moment. Also, we're in Miami, I need a tan. I wonder if Shane's turned on by straddling that thing.

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The L Word Online has been designed by Oz and Slicey.  Unique images designed by Oz.  Site maintained by Oz & Slicey.  This website is intended to be fun and informative, and was created with respect to show appreciation for the women and men involved in the creation of TV's first real lesbian drama.  This site is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Showtime Networks Inc., the television series "The L Word," or any person involved in the making of the show.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Images and other borrowed content are copyright their respective owners.  Credit is given where due.  All original content is the sole property of  the creators of The L Word Online copyright October 2003.