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:: L A D Y  O F  T H E  L A K E ::

#5.03 Recap Blog by Riese

This is what I do: I keep score. I count the number of Lesbian Sex Moments, Lesbian Foreplay Moments, Non-Lesbian Sex Moments and Lesbian Squabbles. I monitor and record the fluctuation of my bisexuality on a Kinsey Scale. I give you your weekly Kittism and your weekly Jenny Moment and your Quote of the Week. I give you Screencaps.

 

 




Ok whoa!! Last week I was talking about this show like it was the real deal and now it's letting us down, just like our first wife! Episode 503: "Letdown." The first scene: pure, unadulterated bliss. Everything following the first scene: so terrible, I found myself often accidentally/constantly sticking my finger in Alex's ear. She actually likes it a little bit, she just won't admit it. We've had an emotional few days, but um, I'm pretty sure that this episode was bad all on its own. If not, I apologize to everyone, but most of all to my BFF Ilene Chaiken, for my rash and unfair judgment of her tender masterpiece. You can make it up to me with a cupcake from the new Magnolia! How exciting.



Haiku to Ilene Chaiken:
Really? Why now?
OurChart OurChart Our
Chart Really Ilene?

But Now a Message From Our Sponsors: I've concluded this program wasn't intended for premium cable drama programming. Clearly it's a compilation tape of several commercials & product plugs and public service announcements. Therefore, instead of watching these adverts all the way through and subsequently boring you with the tedious details, at many points in this recap, I've simply linked to a more informative video for you to view at your leisure. It's like the future!

Also, in the past, I've made self-deprecating statements like, "I'm not funny anymore, this recap isn't funny," etc. but I'm serious this time. I promise to rock your socks off next week, fo'serious. Urmmm ... obvs it's a little late, and as you know, I never recap late, clearly there's a mysterious reason for this that also means I'm not super-clever right now but does mean I am an X-Men person. Oh but also feel free to yell at me about not being funny, I enjoy S & M. Just check my OurChart profile. Really, I dare you. It's not weird to meet people on the internet.

*



1. By "Taloo" I meant "Talum." I was just making sure y'all knew how to read a map and spell words in languages. Would you like to travel to Talum? Check it.
2. This is not the way that we live.
3. Not my mistake, but: it's "obvs" not "obs." OBs are tampons.
4. Shane is reminded of Carmen, not Dana. I'm not correcting myself, I'm correcting everyone who disagrees with me. I will fight everyone to the death on this. Watch out, I'm a Reiki Master and I know people who know people who might know your people, watch me go!
5. Carly says we didn't invite her to watch the show this week, which isn't true. We texted her at about two, twice, to see if she wanted to hang out and got no response. Then when we decided to watch the show on Saturday night, we somehow miscommunicated that Alex had reached out once again and told Carly about our plans. Alex has confirmed that she did not do this. Still though. I've got her opinion, and I'll be sharing it with you in a little bit. Also, we love her, etc.
*
6. OK, just to make myself feel better, I watched the first five minutes of Episode 504 to see if I've got anything to look forward to, and it was pretty good. No worries guys, second chances for everyone, everything's gonna be fine.
*



How Do You Talk to Charlie's Angels: The opening scene is delightful -- it's Alice's dream about Jenny's movie and also, coincidentally -- our dream about Jenny's movie! It's Charlie's Angels! In fact, Alex and Haviland found themselves attracted to Kate Moennig, that's how good it was. Personally, I've never had trouble seeing her appeal, in fact, it was my obsession with Shane that got me into this mess to begin with.

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Haviland [speaking too soon]: "This is the best L Word episode I've ever seen you guys."
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We're hearting Helena's denim jumpsuit, Alice's high camp attitude, Kate femming it up (I like her better andro, but that's just me) ... we can't wait to parody this in our vlog.


 


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