At the Premiere Party, we got goody bags containing a DVD of Episode 402, an
L Word necklace, another copy of GO-NYC magazine, gift certificates for
Lasik surgery and a Blisspa Gift Set and a "back massager" that Lainy
identified as a double-headed dildo. I attempted, like an alcoholic facing a
fifth of Maker's Mark, not to watch the DVD before Sunday night, but then I
accidentally did. Twice. Once alone and once with Haviland. It's a good one,
though light on war and sex. I have not yet used the "massager."
Okay but first: "Livin' La Vida Loca"? By Season Eight, they're gonna be
really grabbing for "L" titles from other languages. We've already had
"L'Ennui" (which is really just like when we used to play the alphabet game
on road trips and the category would be like--animals--and Dad would get "X"
and then be like: "Porcupine with a silent X") , "Lagrimas de Oro" (?) and
"L'Chaim" (like my Chai tattoo!).
Episode 801 will be "Lo Mein" and 802 will be "Llyfrau" (that's "book" in
Dear The Producers of The L Word,
I liked this episode very much. However, it would please me a great deal if
you stopped having Max talk about computers. It makes me uncomfortable. For
one thing I don't think he knows what he is talking about. I think this is
because you don't know what you're talking about. If you did, the Showtime
website might be updated more often. No offence.
This Must Be What It's Like For Dudes That Get Kicked in the Gonads and
Can't Have Sex For A Long Time.
Shane's hand is in a bandage and she's sporting some yellowing bruises and
assorted facial cuts. I somehow find her even sexier than usual.
AHH, MY DEAR California University:
Our newly minted Dean Porter is strolling along her aesthetically pleasing
campus with Phyllis, who is the President of California University. Alumni
of this prestigious university include Zachary Morris, Brandon Walsh,
Screech, Donna Martin, and Kelly Taylor, among others. I hope Bette doesn't
end up with Kelly Taylor's ex, Colin, on her staff:
Colin was an art teacher at CU and he was also an artist. And a coke-head. I
don't think Bette would care for that.
I mean, look at her sunglasses! Smokin'.
We Don't Bite OR DO WE?
The way Tina talks in these scenes creeps me out. It's like she's on a lot
of amphetamines, or she just had dental surgery or botox in all the wrong
places. Or like she's growing FANGS because of Henry. I wish she'd get back
together with Evie from "The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in
Love" and put on that sexxxy wifebeater again.
She's What I Go to School For:
Colin is not gonna get this job, and here's why:
Bette: "If you like to spend quality time with your girlfriend or
boyfriend, visit your mother on the weekends, go to the gym three or four
times a week to keep your body fit and healthy -- I respect that. I even
envy it. But you shouldn't be here, because if you're going to TA for me,
you shouldn't expect to have a life. You are only here because you are
intensely driven and you are as determined as I am to make CU the
destination art school ahead of RISD and Yale, and the only reason you can
even contemplate taking on this added responsibility in addition to your
already insane course load, and the hours you spend in your graduate studio
making art is that you are young enough and foolish enough to think that you
can get by on three hours of sleep a night."
Who will get the job? This girl:
....who is living out all our fantasies by totally seducing the Dean into
hiring her as a TA, and the dean is a woman, and the woman is hot, and the
girl is hot, and everyone is a lesbian. Obviously this is trouble, but
whatevs. So are a lot of things. Ever seen "Rules of Attraction"?
Sometimes, When I Don't go on MySpace for three Days, People Act Like I
Just Fell off the Side of a Steep Mountain of So Yesterday.
Alice: It's this girl on OurChart, Papi. You know, she has more hits than
Shane. How do you not know this? Where have you been?