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:: C O M I N G  B A C K  Q U I C K E R  T H A N  H E L E N A S  P E R S O N A L I T Y ::
Blog by Riese

This is what I do: I keep score. I count the number of Lesbian Sex Moments, Lesbian Foreplay Moments, Non-Lesbian Sex Moments and Lesbian Squabbles. I monitor and record the fluctuation of my bisexuality on a Kinsey Scale. I give you your weekly Kittism and your weekly Jenny Moment and your Quote of the Week. I give you Screencaps.



I'm totally getting back to this blog ASAP. Because you know what? If I.C. can write The L Word without any regard for the emotional well-being and/or admiration of her fans/dedicated-haters, then I can write Automatic Straddle without any regard for the fact that The L Word isn't on right now. Like: I don't need you! I found this great lube, called Boy Butter?


In the meantime, there's my other blog: This Girl Called Automatic Win.
Or go outside and play in traffic or play with your Video Game Machines, whatever it is you kids're doing these days.


Or you could take a look in a book in Reading Rainbow!

I wish computers'd been invented when I was ages 6-8, so I could've recapped RR: LeVar's reading Sylvester and the Magic Pebble in a turquoise "shirt" he must've stolen off the Star Trek set. He looks like Guinan, if Guinan were a homosexual color-blind man.

Really though, you should read some lesbo-books, because books will keep you off drugs [though a smooth flat surface has its temptations] and off the streets. If you buy books through the links below, I'm gifted a small financial percentage of your spending ['cause I'm an "Associate," which anyone can sign up for, I'm not special or anything], so it's a tip AND a book. Double trouble, if you will.

-Jeanette Winterson's Written on the Body. Totes homo-cannon.
-Marijane Meeker's Shockproof Sydney Skate. I wanted to transform this novel into the best/only family-lesbian sitcom ever, but then my co-writer in L.A. discovered it'd already been optioned by John Hughes and has been in development hell for ten years. Because everyone hates gay people.
-Sarah Waters' Tipping the Velvet is the general favorite, right? The book and/or the activity?
-Jen Sincero's The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks. [for Kit, et al.]
-Carol Queen's Pomosexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality.
-Alison Bechdel's Fun Home, the graphic funeral home memoir that landed on all the Best Books of '06 Lists. Yup. All of 'em. Even mine! And I actually read it, unlike most of the other books on my list.
-First Timers: True Stories of Lesbian Awakening. This erotica collection was edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, who hosts of a reading series I read in last year (with my co-star, Haviland, obvs) called "In the Flesh."

Also Surface Tension: Love, Sex and Politics Between Lesbian and Straight Women is a book I never would've known about if I hadn't stumbled upon it in a used book-store and now I'm so privileged to share this discovery with y'all. It's got Elizabeth Wurtzel on her envy of Amy Ray and Melissa Etheridge's relative emotional abandon, L Word guest star/filmmaker Guinevere Turner on her girlhood best friend/crush, Michelle T. Clinton on wanting to be "The Perfect Bisexual," and superstars like Grace Paley, Gloria Steinham, Dorothy Allison and Susie Bright.

I'm not putting The Well of Loneliness on this list, because, though it's a classic -- as I've mentioned before and as it's title implies: it made me totally suicidal. [I mean that proverbially, weirdos.]

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The L Word Online has been designed by Oz and Slicey.  Unique images designed by Oz.  Site maintained by Oz & Slicey.  This website is intended to be fun and informative, and was created with respect to show appreciation for the women and men involved in the creation of TV's first real lesbian drama.  This site is not endorsed, sponsored, or affiliated with Showtime Networks Inc., the television series "The L Word," or any person involved in the making of the show.  No copyright infringement is intended.  Images and other borrowed content are copyright their respective owners.  Credit is given where due.  All original content is the sole property of  the creators of The L Word Online copyright October 2003.